handplane

Fred and Mary get married but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parents' home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No." Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies,

The IRS decides to audit Ed, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ed shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable." "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ed. "How about a demonstration?" The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead." Ed says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The audit or thinks a moment and says, "No way! It'

Montana Cowboy A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cin

You were not dreaming. It was there.

Happy Birthday Liz

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three l

A bunch of losers.

Hello Pat, Good to see you back. Sorry to hear about your kitty. Know to well about losing a pet, it's heart breaking for sure.

Pregnant Blonde The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck, and I starting jumping up and down along with her. She said, "I have some really great news!" I said, "Great. Tell me why you're so happy." She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant! I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!" Then she said, "There's more." I asked,"What do you me

Definition: Ghost is a disk cloning program, originally produced by Binary Research, but purchased by Symantec in 1998. The Ghost program originated the market for disk-cloning software. The name Ghost originated as an acronym for "General Hardware-Oriented Software Transfer".

Liz, Good to have you back!!!!

Was ready to stop the video. Glad I watched the whole thing. The finish product turned out great.

I agree with two of the two.

Yo Liz, Where are you?

Don't forget!!!!

Me too!!!

shanenin, Nice job. Lots of room under the work area. Couple of suggestions: Is there any way to add drawers? Hate to see all that space wasted. How about some slideouts for keyboards?

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment" The husband replies, "Your eyesight's perfect". They say he never heard the shot..........

A blind man wanders into a lesbian biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you are blind that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman

robroy, Congrats to you. I recall when you started. Good for you and your health.

Happy Birthday, Mickey!!!!!

Why is it outdated?

What hobby?

An 8-year-old boy was riding his bicycle in Starkville, Mississippi, when he saw his friend being attacked by a large pit bulldog. The boy jumped off his bike, ran, and jumped on the dog's back. after prying the vicious animal's teeth from his young friend's body, put the dog in a choke hold and held on until the dog was dead. The local newspaper editor happened to witness this feat and after calling for the ambulance on his cell phone, ran over to the young hero and said, "Son, that was one of the bravest things I have ever seen. You're going to make tomorrow's headlines. It will read: Missi

Have you seen this from Paint Help: To change the size of your picture On the Image menu, click Attributes. Under Units, click the unit of measurement you want to use for the width and height. Type the measurements in Width and Height. Notes You can also resize your picture by dragging the image resize handles, located at the lower-right corner and along the bottom and right sides of your picture. (You might need to maximize the window to see the square resize handles.) If your current picture is bigger than the new size, the picture is cut from the right side and bottom to fit within the