I Need Some Advice.

[ampshock]

I need some advice for real-life issues, I go to a school where there are lots of fights and that type of thing. some people think that I am gay

but I am NOT gay. This makes me angry, for some reason there are roumers going around school. I need to know what to do to stop these roumers.

I have tryed my parents they just said ignore it. I thought that I would talk to yall scince that I get help for other things here to.

please help

[JSKY]

Change the style of clothing you wear, Find a girlfriend. even if shes from elsewhere.

As for the rumors, I'm with your parents. just forget them. You would be surprised how things change when you get out of school and into the real world. School is mostly a fantasy world. Those who think they are something usually figure out their not. And I have seen those who think or are told their nobody turn out to be the most successful in the world. The best liked, and in some cases the richest. (either money wise or friendship wise).

Just be who you are. Everything will turn out just fine.

[wolfman2001]

My attitude in life has always been to not give a damn what others think. If you're happy with who you are then just do your best to ignore the jerks who tease you. It does get better when you get out of school but I know that seems a long way away at this point. Be strong and believe in yourself!

[-Spazmatic-]

Wolf, I somewhat agree.

I try to have that idea of life in my head, but it bothers me anyhow. I'm a senior in highschool, I know what's up amp. People judge wrongly of others and it tumbles from there. I'll tell you this, though. DO NOT WEAR PINK SHIRTS, I hate it and I don't care if it's ok where you're from, I can't stand guys who say "wearing pink shows you're tough"

BULLSHIT! It shows that you're an attention whore.

[tictoc5150]

*Ahem* OK, settle down about the pink shirts...lol

Our very own besttechie wears a pink shirt he is very proud of!!!!!

Kidding aside, and addressing the original poster....Rumors are a part of high school and there isn't much that can change that, with the exception of the person that started them setting the record straight but even then it probably has gone too far....As for gay bashing/homophobia, alot of times are caused by a persons own confusion about their sexuality and result in self-loathing that they take out on others to fit in...Once again, not much you can do to change that.

As has been mentioned, things do get better after school and you hit the real world....I know it doesn't do any good now but you might get a good laugh at your 10 year reunion to find out that the gay bashers finally came out of the closet...lol

I disagree with this:

Change the style of clothing you wear, Find a girlfriend. even if shes from elsewhere.

Wear what you want, go solo if you want....don't date someone that could be imaginary (they'll make fun of you for that too)

Doesn't really matter what you do...be yourself and *try* not to give a $@%# what people think.

Or you could go with this:

pick the biggest gay basher of em' all and beat the hell out of him...no self respecting homophobe would ever admit to being beat up by someone that's gay, so you must be straight.

[Besttechie]

DO NOT WEAR PINK SHIRTS, I hate it and I don't care if it's ok where you're from, I can't stand guys who say "wearing pink shows you're tough"

BULLSHIT! It shows that you're an attention whore.

Uh Oh...

/me wonders if he is a hated forum owner now...

B

[blim]

Hi Amp,

I'm going against the grain and saying "don't change a thing about yourself".

We had some first hand experience with this one. My son has a bestfriend since 2nd grade who came out of the closet his sophmore year (Son said, "I knew he was gay before he did--I don't care--he never hit on me!)

AND my son is a member of a Morris Dance Team (they use swords and sticks) His philosophy with dance is, there's "40 girls to 5 boys--heck yea, I love those festivals!!"

He has never gone through a phase where girls were "icky", even in elementary school, so he's definitely not gay, but when his buddy came out, the rumors flowed and spread.

Luckily, everyone that knew him well and especially the kids on the dance team laughed hysterically when they heard the rumors and told the rumor throwers, "oh, he's definitely not gay!!" and squashed them.

Something else he did was to write a rant on his blog and the comments that came from it were very supportive, (well, most were, "I KNOW you aren't gay" from girls, that kinda worried this mom!!) and that helped alert his friends to the rumor and they were able to help squash it.

It was a frustrating few weeks with that rumor, but because it wasn't true, it died.

So, Amp, my advice, for what it's worth, is to trust your friends, family and classmates who know you're not gay to help set the record "straight" (oooh, a pun!!) Especially if you ask them to help quell the rumor.

Son's girlfriend is gorgeous. His friends say, "ya done all right for a gay guy" and they all laugh now. It will pass, just be patient and put some trust in your friends. That's what they are for.

Liz

[ampshock]

I dont wear pink shirts. I am in 10th grade and try hard in school. I dont look like a gay person, this is my second year in a public school I was home schooled before that. but being a freshman in highschool on your first year in publicschool is tough. and no i dont look like a geek and wear a pocket protector.

[-Spazmatic-]

DO NOT WEAR PINK SHIRTS, I hate it and I don't care if it's ok where you're from, I can't stand guys who say "wearing pink shows you're tough"

BULLSHIT! It shows that you're an attention whore.

Uh Oh...

/me wonders if he is a hated forum owner now...

B

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Are you trying for attention?

[Besttechie]

Are you trying for attention?

Uh, no. I wear it, because I like the shirt and it looks cool.

B

[-Spazmatic-]

Are you trying for attention?

Uh, no. I wear it, because I like the shirt and it looks cool.

B

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don't have a problem with that.

I have a problem with

you know what...

I'm not even going to start.

[Bubba Bob]

Ive wondered about Jeff since i saw his picture with the pink shirt... AND the spiked hair.

ANyway, i dont have much advice ( I went to a small HS, under 200 students, so rumors didnt really start) but just to let it die. Im sure "rumors" dont last forever.

OH! If/when someone laughs at you, laugh too. It confuses them

[Schmidt1989]

im also in 10th grade. though never home schooled, i know what its like to be picked on, people used to think i was gay. but a quick question, how tall are you and how much do you weigh? im 5'6" and 125 so im in athletic condition. if your not that strong or something start lifting or at least do pushups, then once you weigh about 5 lbs more, beat the hell out of someone. and dont do what people tell you to do, though you may get a cool couple seconds of fame from fellow students, it may last less than a day. and join a sport like football or hockey if you like them, theyll help you get to know people and give it your all theyll think respectful of you if you at least try. and if your fat, start trying your hardest to lose weight, people will think thats pretty cool. and be yourself also, stand up for yourself even if you get punched in the head, if you get hit hit back, its called self defense, just tell them not to f*** with you and if they do, take a book and knock the hell out of him. just remember to be smart and not cave in, people wouldnt like you very much if they had a 45 pointed at them or something. and if all else fails, at least you have us. Also, when a day your not in the mood to be messed with, put the songs, "the heretic anthem" and "pulse of the maggots" theyre both by slipknot, which may not be your choice of songs but it will get you pissed enough to take on friggin king kong, guaranteed. so put them onto cd or mp3 an listen to the on the bus or something.

[thesidekickcat]

I need some advice for real-life issues, I go to a school where there are lots of fights and that type of thing. some people think that I am gay  

but I am NOT gay. This makes me angry, for some reason there are roumers going around school. I need to know what to do to stop these roumers.

I have tryed my parents they just said ignore it. I thought that I would talk to yall scince that I get help for other things here to.

please help 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am so sorry this is happening to you.

I agree with you that it is tough to have people talking about you, and spreading lies about you. It wasn't easy to go through when I was in middle school/high school back in the dark ages of the late 50's early 60's, and it has gotten alot worse for kids nowadays even with web sites now devoted to trashing fellow students (ugh!!!). As I remember it, even my so called friends made up stuff to hurt me when they were mad at me, then couldn't stop the lies once they got over being mad.

Insecurity, grudges, jealousy, meaness, picking on people just because they can, boredom, selfishness, stupidity, incrowd versus everyone else, dares by their friends to start something, those are all possible reasons for them doing it that basically have nothing to do with you, but do end up hurting you alot. And there is not much you can do to stop the people doing it, or the rumors themselves, though I have read/heard on the news that you should notify the school counselor, a teacher, or someone in administration if it is bullying worse than the normal brat behaviour, or if you are being physically attacked (though the mean words can be just as harmful as physical attacks). I always wanted to fight the gossips, but it didn't help. (That was before I was a Christian, for you who are wondering...now I only fight for others who are being picked on.)

My advice is to talk to a trusted teacher, or counselor about it so they know what is happening. And you did good for talking to your folks. But the most important thing is to toughen up inside...that's what's called getting tough skinned. That is hard no matter if you are a guy or a gal when things hurt you and especially as a teen ager. Another thing is be the best You that you can be. Be true to yourself and your core beliefs of right and wrong. You know this is wrong behaviour so don't retalliate by saying anything bad about anyone else. As my Mom used to tell me, Smile sweetly Pat, and kill them with kindness. Treating them better than they treat you is it's own sweet revenge and heaps all sorts of guilt trips on them!!!

Another thing you might consider is taking some martial arts lessons...you never know in life when you might need to be able to defend yourself. Plus it would give you confidence, and a new set of people to associate with. Speaking of which, get involved with a church youth group, or volunteer work helping other people etc. You will meet new people, and have a busy schedule so you don't dwell on the school brats, and through all that will be able to show them all up. Oh another thing...skip the class reunions. Why would anyone want to go back to see the people who mistreated them earlier. I graduated in 1962 and haven't had anything to do with any of them since. Thank God.

I hope this thread helps you feel better. It is good to talk things out, and please keep us posted on how it all works out. I will be praying for you.

Pat.

God bless everyone.

[ampshock]

im also in 10th grade. though never home schooled, i know what its like to be picked on, people used to think i was gay. but a quick question, how tall are you and how much do you weigh? im 5'6" and 125 so im in athletic condition. if your not that strong or something start lifting or at least do pushups, then once you weigh about 5 lbs more, beat the hell out of someone. and dont do what people tell you to do, though you may get a cool couple seconds of fame from fellow students, it may last less than a day. and join a sport like football or hockey if you like them, theyll help you get to know people and give it your all theyll think respectful of you if you at least try. and if your fat, start trying your hardest to lose weight, people will think thats pretty cool. and be yourself also, stand up for yourself even if you get punched in the head, if you get hit hit back, its called self defense, just tell them not to f*** with you and if they do, take a book and knock the hell out of him. just remember to be smart and not cave in, people wouldnt like you very much if they had a 45 pointed at them or something. and if all else fails, at least you have us. Also, when a day your not in the mood to be messed with, put the songs, "the heretic anthem" and "pulse of the maggots" theyre both by slipknot, which may not be your choice of songs but it will get you pissed enough to take on friggin king kong, guaranteed. so put them onto cd or mp3 an listen to the on the bus or something.

Good advice, I am 128 pounds, not fat dont look fat ( I think it is just my large mucle in my legs) pretty strong (about average strenght) i am working out on a bench press everyother day to build up. 5'8 1/2 foot tall so i am not that small. its just last year I was shorter and not as strong so I had a harder time, I was called gay last year to and just recently someone told me that rumors are going around about me being gay again. I hate it. I have to power to take someone down its just I dont want to have to, I guess I will have to stand up for my self a little bit more. Thanks man.

[mikex]

$0.02

Be your self.

In ten years you will be a better prson than these others.

They have such shallow minds you would not get you feet wet if you strolled through that vast waste land they call a brain.

Girls...they will come when the money rolls in, and they will be those that looked down at you in school.

Wait for the person that makes your stomach flutter when she comes in the room.

If needed you can give me back come change from my $0.02.

M

[Schmidt1989]

anytime, ampshock. and see your even bigger t6han me, just take the person being the meanest or one of the smaller ones and throw him into a wall, it may not knock him out but it will teach him not to mess with you. Also, if your good looking or you think your good looking or at least not too bad, work on your abs alot, so the next time you lift up your shirt in gym the ladys will be impressed, also be real nice to them which im sure your are, nice guys never finish first, thats a rule i guess. but if you can start talking to hot girls and cheerleaders, that can help alot too. even if you dont date one of them.

[ampshock]

I too am a christion and go to church regulery on sundays, and help with youth services. I go to martial art classes at church for free. I guess I am soft hearted and dont want to hurt any one. but to make it throught I will have to toughin up to make it through high school. it is hard to fight gossup because it is like fighting everyone.

thanks for praying.

[thesidekickcat]

If you have a caring listening youth pastor, talk to him about this. Also have him and the other youth group kids all get together and help you invite the gossiping bullies to youth service!!! Hopefully your service has good rocking gospel music, that should hold their attention long enough to do some eternal good. Who knows but that this will turn out just fine in the long run.

Take care friend.

Pat.

God bless everyone.

[Schmidt1989]

i understand you wouldnt hurt a fly, but you never know when its neccissary, and thats good your in martial arts, my dad told me a story about one of his friends brother, he was in a bathroom when some guys came in and said they really liked his watch, three were in front and one got behind him, and the guy closest to him in front pulled a knife, so he used some karate and kicked the guy behind hims, knee, broke his leg doing so, and disamred the knife holder, they all ran out. except for the guy with the broken leg, he may have run out but i doubt it. so back to today, martial arts will be really helpful to you some day. and just keep telling them to back off, also, if your stuck in a class with one of them and only one or you at least sit by one, watch what hes doing and see if he maybe wirtes about something your into. this happened to me in 8th grade, i sat next to a kid i hated and the i was like hey you like hockey, cuz i saw he was doing a paper on mario lemuix. and now were pretty good friends and i hang out with him.

[Besttechie]

Hmm, well. Let's see if I can help a little here.

Basically, I don't think you should ever punch, hit, beat up anyone. It really doesn't accomplish anything, except getting into trouble. Now, I know a lot of people probably think I'm an old man, but in fact I am just a normal 16 year old guy who is going into 11th grade. Now, well, this is me and what I do, maybe it will help you.

Basically, first you have to find a group of friends. Now, cool, you have established friends. They'll stick up for you. Next, don't follow other people. Be a trend setter not a trend follower. Do stuff no one else has done. Be cool, get the whacked out sneakers, the cool hair style (messy spikes - thats mine). Use your what you like about you. Listen to music, I love underground bands, stuff that no one really knows about. If you like alternative music, punk, rock, let me know and I'll gladly send you some underground stuff, show it off to your friends. Don't worry about giving me the credit (it's all cool) Also, don't dress like something you're not. If you like pink, wear it. If you like jeans wear them. I know highschool can be tough. Remember school should always come first though. Do NOT be afraid to say to your friends I really should do this work, then we can hang out.

Also, hehe, this is my favorite topic girls. Now, I have a girlfriend, and she is the most amazing girl in the world so I think. Don't try to be the 'cool' guy around girls, be yourself. Also, you don't have to hang with the cheerleaders to be cool. A lot of them aren't even worth it. There are way better girls, trust me. I have to say this: I love you Mandy!!!

If I think of anything else I will let you know.

Good luck!!

B

[Nefrai]

Being into martial arts myself, I agree beating up people is not an answer. IF they attack you, by all means, put em down, otherwise be peacefull. (the other side of martial arts, the hard part, is self control.) Don't worry about it to much, don't go try to get a g/f because of this, if people call you gay to your face, just calmly tell them the truth. Truth will win out, rumors go away. I have a good friend that went through this at school, people thought he was gay and told rumors about him for awhile, but everyone got to know and like him, and after awhile the nicer peole started defending him. My kids will be homeschooled prolly, as I don't like what the government teaches, but pretend it doesn't bother you, laugh it off in public, and it will go away.

[Subliminloutbrk]

I need some advice for real-life issues, I go to a school where there are lots of fights and that type of thing. some people think that I am gay 

but I am NOT gay. This makes me angry, for some reason there are roumers going around school. I need to know what to do to stop these roumers.

I have tryed my parents they just said ignore it. I thought that I would talk to yall scince that I get help for other things here to.

please help 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dude, you posted this in "the other forum". And ill tell you here what I told you there. Don't worry about it;Although I do recommend concentrating more in english, you need it.

[IceFLYER]

I need some advice for real-life issues, I go to a school where there are lots of fights and that type of thing. some people think that I am gay 

but I am NOT gay. This makes me angry, for some reason there are roumers going around school. I need to know what to do to stop these roumers.

I have tryed my parents they just said ignore it. I thought that I would talk to yall scince that I get help for other things here to.

please help 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Here's the simple IceFLYER answer that may rhyme. But really here goes, on the spot...

Just be you

Try not for cool

For cool is already in you

In your heart

In that warm beating place...

Not the shades on your face

Not the fabrics

Be it leather or lace...

Just ignore the bullies

who's mentality

Is certainly "pre-schooly" ...

But if you find that push comes to shove

The other IceFLYER solution

Is to find a pretty girl

A high school sweetheart love!

The mean guys'll be him?! her?! what?! why?!

And the girls'll think those looks

Are pretty cute!

But we'll call it "cool"

Not the other

which'll make ya puke...

So to overview

One: Be You

Two: Ignore punks, drunks, and if possible the fistitcuffs

Three: Charm the girls, for plenty of puckerups!!!

-IceFLYER

...yaaa....

[TheTerrorist_75]

I was the smallest guy in my class during high school. I would get picked and thumped on. I chose to ignore it and went my own way. It was also bad enough that I was a library helper and handled the audio/video department. I was the class nerd. The only sport I played was tennis.

My saving grace was that I was a motor head. I majored in math and industrial arts. They couldn't keep me out of auto shop where I would bring my hot rods in for the other students to help work on. After awhile I was doing business with the teachers, administration and students who wanted their cars fixed. The chicks even started noticing this nerd driving a souped up '57 Chevy, Mustang convertible and a Triumph motorcycle.

I became a lifeguard when I was a junior and worked the local campgrounds. A couple of the other guards were on the football and wrestling teams and got me into working out. My senior year I was one of the elite class members that no one messed with. I ended up being popular with the jocks, stoners and brainy people alike.

Like the others stated follow your own path and just ease into some friendships. In time you can be one of the cool kids.