Shadow_Thomas

A game warden stopped a camper carrying a bucket of live fish. "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" he asked. "No, sir. These are my pet fish," the camper replied. "Every night, I take them down to the lake and let them swim for awhile. Then I whistle and they jump right back into the bucket." "That's a bunch of baloney," said the game warden, pulling out a citation. "Follow me back to the lake, and I'll prove it to you." Suspicious but curious, the game warden agreed. They walked back to the lake, where the camper poured the bucket of fish into the water. "Okay," the game warden

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking a mid term. The last question was, "Name seven advantages of Mothers Milk," worth 70 points or none at all. One student who had also partied the night before, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote: 1. It is perfect formula for the child. 2. It provides immunity against several diseases. 3. It is always at the right temperature. 4. It is inexpensive. 5. It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa. 6. It is always available as needed. And then, the student was stuck. Finally, just before the bell indicating the end of the test rang

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I had another good one, but I decided not to post it because I felt it was borderline as it mentioned, or should I say it had the word penis mentioned about a half dozen times. I would never offend anyone, not on purpose anyways. Glad you liked it.

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food. 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's/Grandpa's lap. GREAT

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth!" The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Thanks, but they're too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair...try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pa

After years of frustration, the Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon". Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me, but I've come to..." "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in. "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies." "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Pleas

Haul

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Nutrition

Just wondering, I remember him posting hear and at G4. I have not seen him in sometime.

Bulk

Not sure if anyone knew about this. Microsoft To Release 13 Patches this Week. By TechWeb News February 03, 2005 (3:33 PM EST) URL: http://www.techweb.com/wire/59300836 Microsoft on Thursday gave early warning that next week's monthly dose of security bulletins and patches will be among its biggest ever. According to the Advance Notification service, which pre-announces upcoming patches but limits the information disclosed, next Tuesday's roundup will include 13 security bulletins, at least three of which will be marked "Critical," the Redmond, Wash.-based developer's most dire warning. Nine

Victrola

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slackware

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Happy birthday old man. Better late then never

Happy B. day.