martymas
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Posts posted by martymas
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Got these on e-mail while ago, and had to pass 'em on.
Science Exam
If you need a laugh then read through these Children's Science Exam
answers. These are real answers given by children.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
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hi team a freind
has gone to another country
to live and has given me
a mac instalation disk
i have never come in contact with a mac OS or products
before
will it dual boot with win xp.
what is required as far as registration number
what is required as far as hadware drivers is concerned
i would appreciate any in put
as far as mac is concerned
thanks
marty
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marty,
Not what I expected.
Totally disappointed!!!!!
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>
yo handplane me to
i was on a site before xmas
and it showed britney
dressed in a smile
and she said
im not ashamed of my body
and i didnt know how to email her and say neither am i
but it seems to be the norm for celebritys
to take there clothes off
im sure it is aimed at men.
ive seem more celebrity bum than ive seen in my own country
marty
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Semi Humor - for veterans only!(or those that appreciate them)
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EVERYTHING I EVER NEEDED TO KNOW IN LIFE I LEARNED AS A HELICOPTER CREW IN VIETNAM.
- Once you are in the fight, it is way too late to wonder if this is a good idea.
- It is a fact that helicopter tail rotors are instinctively drawn toward trees, stumps, rocks, etc. While it may be possible to ward off this natural event some of the time, it cannot, despite the best efforts of the crew, always be prevented. It's just what they do.
- NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition than the other guy.
- The engine RPM and the rotor RPM must BOTH be kept in the GREEN. Failure to heed this commandment can affect the morale of the crew.
- Cover your Buddy, so he can be around to cover for you.
- Decisions made by someone above you in the chain-of-command will seldom be in your best interest.
- The terms Protective Armor and Helicopter are mutually exclusive.
- Sometimes, being good and lucky still is not enough.
- "Chicken Plates" are not something you order in a restaurant.
- If everything is as clear as a bell, and everything is going exactly as planned, you're about to be surprised.
- Loud, sudden noises in a helicopter WILL get your undivided attention.
- The BSR (Bang Stare Red) Theory states that the louder the sudden bang in the helicopter, the quicker your eyes will be drawn to the gauges. The longer you stare at the gauges the less time it takes them to move from green to red.
- No matter what you do, the bullet with your name on it will get you. So, too, can the ones addressed "To Whom It May Concern".
- If the rear echelon troops are really happy, the front line troops probably do not have what they need.
- If you are wearing body armor, they will probably miss that part.
- Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
- Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the alternative.
- If you are allergic to lead, it is best to avoid a war zone.
- It is a bad thing to run out of airspeed, altitude, and ideas all at the same time.
- Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations which, in turn, are better than cold C-rations, which are better than no food at all. All of these, however, are preferable to cold rice balls, even if they do have the little pieces of fish in them.
- Everybody's a hero ... on the ground ... in the club ... after the fourth drink.
- A free fire zone has nothing to do with economics.
- The further you fly into the mountains, the louder the strange engine noises become.
- Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in one piece at the end of the day is better.
- Being shot hurts.
- "Pucker Factor" is the formal name of the equation that states the more hairy the situation is, the more of the seat cushion will be sucked up your *******. It can be expressed in its mathematical formula of S (suction) + H (height) above ground) + I (interest in staying alive) + T (# of tracers coming your way)
- Thus the term '****!' can also be used to denote a situation where high Pucker Factor is being encountered.
- Thousands of Vietnam Veterans earned medals for bravery every day. A few were even awarded.
- Running out of pedal, fore or aft cyclic, or collective are all bad ideas. Any combination of these can be deadly.
- There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make up the rules.
- C-4 can make a dull day fun.
- There is no such thing as a fair fight-only ones where you win or lose.
- If you win the battle you are entitled to the spoils. If you lose you don't care.
- Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing-NOW-to solve our problem.
- Always make sure someone has a P-38. Uh, that's a can opener for those of you who aren't military.
- Prayer may not help . . . but it can't hurt.
- Flying is better than walking. Walking is better than running. Running is better than crawling. All of these, however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac, even if it is, technically, a form of flying.
- If everyone does not come home, none of the rest of us can ever fully come home either.
- Do not fear the enemy, for your enemy can only take your life. It is far better that you fear the media, for they will steal your HONOR.
- A grunt is the true reason for the existence of the helicopter. Every helicopter flying in Vietnam had one real purpose: To help the grunt. It is unfortunate that many helicopters never had the opportunity to fulfill their one true mission in life, simply because someone forgot this fact.
- If you have not been there and done that . . . you probably will not understand most of these.
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just watched the cnn world news and erica hill did the interviewing.
ive just come from g4 .
and there is a thread about techtv.
and the woman who worked there. who now have promenent
and high profile work places.
and i say good luck to them.
i read an article on a blog.
cant remember whos blog.
some time ago
were cat said on some tv show.
where she enjoyed both men and woman.
i presume she had one each way
but i liked her as a presenter
leo was boring at times
and she broke that bordom
marty
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hi team who likes britney spears?
ok go here to see her.
but dont be fooled.
i havent been to any other appli. so if you do.
you do at your own risk.
the britney has been safe
but i cant vouch for the others .
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Wanna know who else from TTV is now a CNN reporter???
Erica Hill
She was the cohost of Tech Live (the really gorgeous one..
) and was from Vancouver BC. Canada, as was Michaela Pereira.<{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hi chappy
i just got an email from a friend
saying
becky worley- Michaela Pereira
erica hill,and suma das .who went from techtv
msnbc then cnn.
becky worley.
is the security advisor to cnn.
when i saw those names
i actually got home sick
i must be and old romantic .
those kanuks
must be clever people
hey you guys thanks for the in put
my problem now is
i keep surfing back to CNN
i just got the message
the lady who hosts the game thing
i think it is morgan webb
is also a canadian
with that famous lady singer.
the canadian woman are taking over the world
and i say goody goody gumdrop
marty
marty
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Sumi Das? on CNN? Wow, I remember her from Fresh Gear....that was the first episode I ever watched on TTV....
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ha yes murtu
thats it fresh gear
i couldnt remember the section she was on
i used to fantisize about her
but she wouldnt return the favour
only joking
she was good at her ewotk and very pretty as well
techtv was very good at employing pretty woman
i miss those programs
and until i got the chanel
i didnt know a thing about compts
so pretty girls and compts have changed my life
im allowed to dream
marty
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my chappy goodness that was a clever solution
i call that making all ends meet
marty
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i watched CNN tonight
and i saw a lady that reminded me of a reporter
who used to work for techtv
with the same name SUMI DAS
any one remember her ?
i would give my back tooth to say it was the same young lady
she was only on for a short time
has any one seen her or does any one know if she works for?
CNN
MARTY
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.. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please
execute him.
b.. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
c.. Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31,
32, and also 33.
d.. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administratin
e.. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out
of a tree and misplaced his hip.
f.. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his fac
g.. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
hurt in the growing part.
h.. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by
very close veins.
i.. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
j.. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
k.. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre)
(dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]
l.. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
m.. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
n.. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
o.. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I
don't know what size she wears.
p.. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get
the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it
was Sunday.
q.. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her
funera
r.. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a
weekend with the Marines.
s.. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and
could not breed well.
t.. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
gramps.
u.. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore
throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore
throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the
best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around,
her father even got hot last night.
v.. Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His
father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the
doctor.
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a.. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
b.. A day without sunshine is like, night.
c.. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
d.. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
e.. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
f.. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
g.. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
h.. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
i.. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
j.. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
k.. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
l.. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
m.. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
n.. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
o.. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
p.. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad > memory.
q.. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
r.. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
s.. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
t.. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
u.. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
v.. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
w.. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
x.. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
y.. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
z.. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
aa.. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
ab.. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
ac.. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
ad.. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
ae.. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
af.. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
ag.. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
ah.. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell
happened.
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hey this stuff looks so realistic
amazing talent
marty
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i also belong to world start
mr bill and tommy baseball talked me into it when we got desolved from techtv
and ive had a few runins
once i critersized certain sections of the population
and the forum was closed down because of the flak i got for speaking my mind
when they reopened the forum
they emailed me and asked me to participate
so i did
but havent posted to that
forum for some time .
the board is full of gay people and you have to be careful how you word your posts .
once i posted about a puff of smoke
and by mistake i posted poofs
and my did i get the rasberry
another we were having a discussion on language
the way we say things in the south pacific
and i happened to post about the races like welsh scotch irish
and i included the bowbells language
cockney.
and my did i get roasted for the first 4 letters .
in the off topic section any thing goes.
so i view that board as hypocritics
marty
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Hi Bubbabob, I think the things Tenmm are talking about are the cardboard sun shields that folks put in their windshield to keep the sunrays out of their cars. ....And the fact someone would drive with a sheet of cardboard covering their windshield is hysterical!!
Our lawnmower and brokensnowblower each have warnings about not sticking your hands in the machine while the blades are moving....duh....!
McDonald's coffee was always too darned hot anyways... I hate to say it, but I almost side with the ol'lady!
WHOA, Marty!! You look different! Brisbane Tigers--Futbol Team??
Liz
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hi liz
yes i have a friend who plays for them
handplane designed it for me
he also designed a new zealand warriors logo as well
he has quite a talent when it comes to animation
ive been studying animation but it is so complicated
handplane said it was 9 frames before he got it right
marty
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do you use an appli called.
imgholderv2.i have it installed but havent explored it yet
i had problems with photobucket.
some time ago it wouldnt let me install
i went in to see if i had it blocked.
so im not sure what went wrong
however im off to try again
thanks
some how i seem to remember handplane
said you would be the personb to ask.
for some days now ive tried to send images to the board.
i tried infranview.
but couldnt find the option.
i was able to get my avatar with infranview.
here and at g4
but transferring these images
has me working
thanks for the info
marty
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ho joe
try OE -options -connections-
change- settings -propeties
and check the box
prompt for name and password
or reset your email settings
marty
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Marty you need to join an on-line host for the pics. Like photobucket It's free, you up-load your pics and even flash there and link it here. Very easy. That's what the IMG code button is for. Or PhotoBucket does it for you already coded. Just remember, if you take the image out of your host it dissapears here.
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>
thanks bozodog
i have an image appli on my compt tho it isnt Photobucket
but ile try that
thanks again
marty
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looks as tho i spoke to soon i got one of those
how to make your self bigger in certain places
tho it was only one. im so peeved.
because i thought i had it under control
and i notice it was multiposted
and all the addresses are the the same
isp as mine
bloody seven of them
marty
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you have got your self in a pickle.
if you want to transfer your data to another hdd.
IF you are using XP
there is a way you can transfer data from one drive to another.
start- all programs -accesorys -sys tools- transfer wizard
try that.i havent done it my self so you will have read the info
and follow the screens .
then-
have a look in start -search- allfiles and folders
type the name of the files in the search box and see if you can recover some of them there .
tho it may be to late
like tictoc says they may be overwritten
next time it would be a good idea to uninstall
in safe mode that way
your files are not attached to important
things like dll files
tho you can still recover dll files
good luck and post back and let us know on your progress
marty
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A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked
up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
"What was that for?" he asked. "That was for the piece of paper
in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it," she replied.
"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of
the horses I bet on," he explained.
"Oh honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there was a good
explanation.
Three days later he was watching a ballgame on TV when she
walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet,
which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, "What the hell was
that for?"
She replied, "Your horse called to see if the coast was clear."
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Bonehead Awards go to all those people who made it necessary for:
- The manufacturer of a toilet brush to include the warning, "Do
not use for personal hygiene."
- The manufacturer of a scooter to provide a warning "This
product moves when used."
- The manufacturer of a digital thermometer to instruct "Once
used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally."
- An electric blender manufacturer to warn "Never remove food or
other items from the blades while the product is operating."
- a company making a small 3 inch air-filled clear plastic
pillow for packing to state that the pillow cannot be used as a
floatation device.
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here is another by bill mallenson
If you can speak Southern, you'll understand
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There was this fellow from Texas who had a flat tire.
He pulled off on the side of the road, jumped out of his car walked down the hillside and picked a bunch of wildflowers, and proceeded to put one bouquet of the flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tarr." In response the passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it neither."
Mac Os
in Mac, iPhone, iPad, iPod
Posted
hi jcl
not quite sure what you mean
will it not run on an ordinary home built compt
with microsoft
drivers. ect
as im a stranger to mac the language needs to be defined for me
thanks
marty