jimras

Chinese Sick Leave Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work. "The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that." Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. By the way, you got nice house."

Didn't catch it-----Local channel had the State Basketball Tournament on instead. Was the the show otherwise a decent show or just another waste of time?

Now that's funny, right there! jr

Is it possible for you to record the show and then stream it? That way we could listen at a later time if we can't catch it live jr

Well, if it installs on somebody else's box, then the problem is with your computer and not the disks I agree with a previous poster that said to clean the CD drive itself. Over time, the lens gets dirty. If that doesn't help, then I'm stumped! jr

1. He's a chiropractor, and she is a pain in the neck. 2. He's a funny old goat, and she's a great kidder. 3. He doesn't have a dollar, and she has no sense. 4. He sells balloons for a living, and she's full of hot air. 5. He's bow-legged, and she's as straight as an arrow. 6. She's a math teacher, and he's a guy with a lot of problems.

yeah, hi 4-'s and into the 50's here, too. We know it's not over yet, though. Basketball tournament time and that ALWAYS means a good snowstorm or two.

Hi Marty An oldie, but a goodie for sure!!! jr

Oh man, that's spooky

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove,

and make sure that you cool it well

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin". "What?" Said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times? "Well.... Husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it's going to be. Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just could

I log in as myself but I have administrator privilages. Does that count? I use the computer 95% of the time anyway.

This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas, but there are more Catholic churches there than casinos. Not surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed. Since they get chips from so many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan Monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in. This is done by the chip monks. Didn't see it comin' did ya?!?!

Hi Marty No, sorry, Eudora does not have a Newsgroups function like OE does, but there are other programs (free ones) that work OK to read newsgroups. A couple are Xnews or Agent (free version) I don't hang on the news groups very often so I don't miss that feature jr

Most of the jokes that I pass on, I get via Email. I use Eudora Pro (ver 5.2) and two of the most useful plug-ins that I have are "remove quote" and "remove unwrap" Before I forward or post a joke, I just hit the remove quote button and ALL the > signs go away... This is one of the main reasons that I have always stuck with Eudora. jr

Well, basically, you guys are saying what I thought. IF you don't use a preview pane and IF you don't open any Emails that MIGHT be a problem, you won't get infected. That's what I thought I think I win the argument.

Having a big argument with my brother. My contention is that if you run an Email program that does NOT have or use a preview pane, you won't get any infection from Emails that might have viruses or other such programs attached to them. My argument is that if you don't open the Email and just delete it. you will be safe. Of course, I'm also running an anti-virus program and I have a firewall, too. He says I can still get infected, anyway. OK, experts, what do you think? jr

Ah yes, Marty. Very good, very good!! jr

Quote: I listen, in fact, I do believe its obvious you can use any XP CD with any XP Key OK then answer me this: I have NOT been able, no matter what I try, to get SP2 installed and working on my computer. I own an Update WinXP Pro CD and own Win2K so that I can use the update. Can I get somebody's WinXP Pro SP2 CD and do a reinstall with MY CD key and finally get my system updated to current specs? I know somebody that has a WinXP Pro SP2 CD I'm not sure if it is a OEM CD or not, however. Would that make any difference ? Right now, I don't use IE or OE so I'm not so concerned with the

Uf dah!!! Good one! jr

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? ITC; font-size: 24px; font-weight: bold; ">Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helm

I've never heard of "free" versions of XP available. I think he bought something trying to get by on the cheap. IF it's for real, he will have to buy from M$ or end up with an unbootable machine after his 180 days.

Nope, me neither and I applied for it twice jr

There might be one consideration and that is will your mobo run with just one stick of ram or do you HAVE to have the ram in pairs? It probably will be fine but you might want to check.