tg1911
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Posts posted by tg1911
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The latest version of Spybot's Teatimer, is buggy.
This is a known issue.
There is a discusion about it in this thread, at BleepingComputer:
Spybot/Alert Dialog, Not complete
The best thing to do is, uninstall version 1.4, and reinstall 1.3, until the bug is fixed.
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No.
Got it in an E-mail.
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Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not
rattlesnakes.
A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and
during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them
indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that
a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants
and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go
under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.
The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the living room
naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake
under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to
look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold nosed
him on the rear He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted.
His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an
ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the
stretcher and started carrying him out.
About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and one of
the Emergency Medical Technicians saw it and dropped his end of
the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is
still in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she
called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He
armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under
the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat
down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in
between the
cushion where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed
and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor
man, seeing her laying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive
her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the
grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and
slammed her goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a
point where it needed stitches.
An ambulance was again called when it was determined that the
injury required hospitalization.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her
neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she
assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen,
brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down
the man's throat.
By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man,
smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had
occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women
tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake.
The ambulance arrived and took away the neighbor and his sobbing
wife. Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch.
One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the
snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the
sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the
bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through
the window into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled,
jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car
swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set
it on fire.
Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the
entire house was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department
and the arriving fire truck had started raising his ladder when
they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the
overhead wires and pulled out the electricity and disconnected
telephones in a ten-square city block area.
Time passed...
Both men were discharged from the hospital. The house was
re-built. The police acquired a new car, and all was right with the
world.
About a year later the original couple were watching TV and the
weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked
his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the
night.
She shot him.
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A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He
knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, gray beard.
"I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger
on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered
the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a
fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep
her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her
and went up to bed alone.
But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of
passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn
he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his
chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."
"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't
have much to worry about."
He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did
so he noticed another note on it that read:
"Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end.
Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window
after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read,
"Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
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Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during this exam were
quite humorous.... A physician claimed that the following are actual
comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was
performing their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone
before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
there."
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Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.
So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it
would be a woman.
He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you,
and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you.
She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not
nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've
had a disagreement.
She will praise you!
She will bear your children, and never ask you to get up in the middle of
the night to take care of them.
"She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion
whenever you need it."
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
Of course the rest is history......................
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After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as
they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin
didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could
fix the problem but that it was expensive.
"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb,"
(fireworks are legal in Alabama) "light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up
to your ear and count to 10."
The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I
don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to
help me."
Trust me," said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up
to his ear and began to count:
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed
counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Tennessee, Indiana, Arkansas, Mississippi,
West Virginia and Georgia.
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We're entering hurricane season. You may soon be turning on the TV and seeing
a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico and making
two basic meteorological points:
(1) There is no need to panic.
(2) We could all be killed
Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Louisiana. If you're new to the area,
you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that
we'll get hit by "the big one.''
Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step
hurricane preparedness plan:
STEP 1. Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.
STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car.
STEP 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.
Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most
people will foolishly stay here in Louisiana. We'll start with one of the most important
hurricane preparedness items:
HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE:
If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is
cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements:
(1) It is reasonably well-built,
(2) It is located in Nebraska.
Unfortunately, if your home is located in South Louisiana, or any other area that might
actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you
hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that
is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place.
So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an
annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment,
this company can drop you like used dental floss.
Since Hurricane George, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies.
This week, the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company cover me, under a policy that states,
in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.
SHUTTERS:
Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a
major hurricane -- all the toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages
and disadvantages:
Plywood shutters:
The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap.
The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.
Sheet-metal shutters:
The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up.
The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding
stumps, and it will be December.
Roll-down shutters:
The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house.
The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.
"Hurricane-proof'' windows:
These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows,
but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman
says so.
He lives in Nebraska.
HURRICANE PROOFING YOUR PROPERTY:
As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills,
planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc. You should, as a precaution, throw these
items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one
built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly
missiles.
EVACUATION ROUTE:
If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine
whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Louisiana,"
you live in a low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being
trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic
traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees.
So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.
HURRICANE SUPPLIES:
If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Louisiana
tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and
get into vicious fights with strangers over who get the last can of SPAM. In addition to food
and water, you will need the following supplies:
* 23 flashlights
* At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes off, to be the wrong size
for the flashlights.
* Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for, but
it's traditional, so GET some!)
* A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant.
* A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through
Camille; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)
* $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that after the hurricane passes you can buy a generator
from a man with no discernible teeth.
Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important
that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television, and watching TV reporters
in rain slickers, stand right next to the ocean, and tell you over and over how vitally important
it is, for everybody to stay away from the ocean.
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Interesting story, flatiron.
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:lol:That'll teach him!
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What I use for spyware prevention:
a² free - a complementary product to antivirus software which is specialized in protection against harmful software. Antivirus software often features an inadequate protection against Trojans, Dialers and Spyware. a² fills this gap.
Ad-Aware - A good program similar to SpyBot S & D.
Spybot S&D - Detects and removes spyware, of different types, from your computer.
SpywareBlaster - A good program that prevents spyware from being installed on your computer in the first place. This program is always running in the background, protecting your computer. It prevents the installation of bad active X controls found in web pages.
SpywareGuard - A nice compliment to SpywareBlaster. This allows you the option to prevent downloads that contain bad active X controls.
And of course:
Been spyware free for over 3 yrs.
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Good ones, marty.
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Amost fell out of my chair, on that one.
Good one, sultan.
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That was a good one, handplane!
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Good stuff, marty!
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Ahhhhh, now I understand.
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A touch of realism, huh.One key distinction that Etch-A-Sketch aficionados might mourn is that erasing a cellular sketch does not involve the vigorous shaking needed to recoat the real toy's screen with powder.But In-Fusio has devised an alternative: When a user presses the "0" key to erase a drawing, the phone also vibrates.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY
....CsrLiz344!!!!
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Congratulations, tictoc5150.
Can't wait to read the blog.
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Do you have a link to the story, marty?
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'jacked By Ms Updates.
in Windows 10, 8, 7, Vista, and XP
Posted
Your welcome, blim.
That's why I keep all of my old installers, just in case I have to revert back, for some reason.
I have Spybot installers back to version 1.2.
I've got Firefox all the way back to when it was Firebird v0.7