tg1911

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Posts posted by tg1911

  8. Computer Password

    in The Comedy Club

    Posted

    A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the

    process, told him that he would now need to enter a password... something he will use to log on.

    The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to

    bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password,

    he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in......

    P

    E

    N

    I

    S

    His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

    ***PASSWORD REJECTED, NOT LONG ENOUGH***

  9. My Big Mistake

    in The Comedy Club

    Posted

    A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises,

    two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the

    doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this", said the man. "I was

    having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole; we both sliced

    our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while rooting

    around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked

    over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's

    monogram on it -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt.

    "That's when I made my big mistake."

    "What did you do?" asks the doctor.

    "Well, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'

    I don't remember much after that."

  10. Rare Medical Condition

    in The Comedy Club

    Posted

    A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first-class section

    of a jet liner. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose,

    then visibly shuddered for ten or fifteen seconds.

    The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed

    again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered quite

    violently once more. Assuming the woman might have a cold, the man

    was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the

    woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose,

    her body shaking even more than before.

    Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman, and said, "I

    couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped you nose, then

    shuddered violently. Are you okay?"

    "Sorry if I disturbed you," the woman replied. "I have a very rare medical

    condition; whenever I sneeze, I have an orgasm."

    The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I've never heard of

    that condition before," he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"

    "Yes," the woman nodded. "Pepper."

  11. The New Preacher

    in The Comedy Club

    Posted

    A young preacher was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside

    service for a man who died with no family or friends. The funeral was held

    way back in the country and the young preacher got lost on the way. When

    he arrived an hour late, he saw a backhoe and crew, but the hearse was

    nowhere in sight. The workmen were eating lunch.

    The diligent pastor went to the open grave to find the vault lid in place,

    but still he poured out his heart and preached an impassioned and lengthy

    service. Returning to his car, the young preacher felt that he had done

    his duty and he would leave with a renewed sense of purpose and

    dedication, in spite of his tardiness.

    As he got into his car, he overheard one of the workers talking to another

    worker, "I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years, and I ain't never seen

    anything like that before. Sort of gives new meaning to the term 'Holy Sh*t',

    doesn't it?"

  12. I Need A Push!

    in The Comedy Club

    Posted

    A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door........

    The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

    "Not a chance," says the husband, "It's three o'clock in the morning."

    He slams the door and returns to bed.

    "Who was that?" asked his wife.

    "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

    "Did you help him?" she asks.

    "No. I did not. It is three o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!!."

    His wife said, "Don't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us?

    I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

    The man does as he is told (of course!! ), gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello! Are you still there?"

    "Yes," comes back the answer.

    "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

    "Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness.

    "Where are you?" asks the husband.

    "Over here on the swing!!" replies the drunk.

  16. Image Converter

    in Graphic Design

    Posted · Edited by tg1911

    Yes if you install the shell extention for Irfanview find it Here:

    http://www.snapfiles.com/get/irfanext.html

    <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

    You don't need the shell extension dll to do batch conversions, from the right click menu.

    That's more for converting single images, right?

    <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

    He wanted to be able to right click a file and convert. that is what I gave him

    <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

    What I was asking you was, is that just for converting single images, or can you batch convert with it also?

    I don't have the .dll you linked to installed, so I don't know.

    Just curious.

    He mentioned batch conversion also.

    You can do that in Irfanview without the .dll, but you have to enable it in the options menu.

    Just trying to get some info, as they don't give very much on the linked site, or the Author's site (BAxBEx Software)..

  18. G4 C.f.h

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    ...it's our yearly pow-wow where we all get together and party for 4 days...usually about 60,000 people attend over the 4 days.

    <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

    Is it a gathering of several tribes, or just one?

    They have a yearly Pow Wow at the casino here (Louisiana Coushatta's), that has tribes from all over the country.

    I like to go, when I get a chance.

    Particularly like the music, and tribal dances.

    Interesting stuff.

  25. Pms

    in Comments & Suggestions

    Posted · Edited by tg1911

    marty,

    Here's what you do once your Inbox folder, and Sent Items folder get full, and you don't want to delete them to make room for more.

    At the top of this page, click the My Controls link.

    That'll take you to your control panel.

    In the Menu on the left, under Messenger, click Archive Messages

    This will take you to the Archive Messages box

    There you will have 5 options to fill out:

    1. Archive from which folder? - pick where you want to archive from (inbox folder, sent items folder, or all folders)

    2. Archive messages received in the last - choose (1, 7, 30, 90, 365, all) days (and newer, or older)

    3. Number of messages to archive - choose 5, 10, 20, 30, 40, or 50

    4. Delete messages after archiving? - yes, or no

    5. Compile datafile as - choose Importable MS Excel datafile, or HTML page (I use HTML page)

    Then click the Process button

    An E-mail will be sent to you, with the archived messages you've selected.

    That way you can save them, and have a permanent record of the ones you want to keep.