martymas

sorry liz i forgot there are lady posters my apppligys marty

ok team this is my lot for the next 2 weeks this not visual but audio only but bloody funny http://tinypic.com/player.php?v=6u80j1z&s=1

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, 'This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.' The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, 'Which do you want, son?' The boy takes the quarters and leaves. 'What did I tell you?' said the barber. 'That kid never learns!' Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. 'Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?' The boy licked his c

this was probably written by some one who uses that other operating sys that has 9 percent of the market but it is humorous Define Great A young man went to a fortune teller. Gazing into her crystal ball, the old lady asked, "What is your dream, young man? What do you want to do with your life?" "I want to become a great writer." "How do you define great?" she asked. "I want to write things that the whole world will read, things that people will react to on a truly emotional level, things that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation and anger." The fortune teller reassu

hi team take a look at this it would be invulable to children and us in our secon childhood marty http://visual.merriam-webster.com/

MOODS OF A WOMAN ================ An angel of truth and a dream of fiction, a woman is a bundle of contradiction, She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse, but will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house. Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose, she'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose, She'll win you in range, enchant you in silk, she'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad, she'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad! MOODS OF A MAN ================ hor------ny

i get them from i friend who was at techtv and world start and now and then he posts at g4 he sends me those jokes and i love em some i wouldnt post on a public forum some i keep and the more risque ones i delete marty

if i was you ide take a ticket in lotto welcome back weve missed you me in particular good to see you here so keep those posts a rollin marty

yes she has been missing for some time i posted at world start and sharba said she had posted 2 weeks before hand but not since then the terroist asked several weeks ago she used to post at leo laports message board any one from here that posts there may know marty

hi joe ime a keen not very good golfer and when this was sent to me i had a great chuckle i sent the message to a golf club close to me \ they may use it marty

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scottsdale , Arizona : 1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART. 2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP. 3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN! 4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING. 5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER. 6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE. 7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU. 8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS. 9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING. 10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES. WELL DONE. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, & TEE OFF.

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart. Dear Mrs. Fenton: Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are

that is the way of the future and to me that is awsome marty

hey liz your husband and family must envy your wisdom dam good advice marty

where is rochester? here in nz it is the exact opposite it is the start of the summer and already we are experiencing double figure temps tho the city i live in is more moderate than some of the areas near the equater hang in there and blow on your fingers or run up and down your path and good luck marty

ha ha i thought ide put a bit of life into the thread you guys posts as good as jokes and humor as you can get any where some i send on to friends in sydney australia and some i send to a friend in florida this boards humor is unique so lets keep it like that the only prize i can give is my looks good nature and and quick wit hows that for advertising flash ha ha ha marty

HAPPY BIRTHDAY shadow i havent seen you on the board for some time it is good to see you drop in now and then marty

yes liz arnt little people honest and straight to the point it is a pity they have to grow up and learn adult tricks marty

thanks liz your my hero marty

where does liz find the birthday list marty

This is for you -- all my loving, (exhausted) teachers . . .not only in the classroom, but for you mothers who "teach" at home too !! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kids Are Quick TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

hi keith i met peter garret at easter and a very astute person he is he is also a cabinet minister and soon he will climb up in the ranks the best thing the australians did was get rid of that right wing prime minister who also lost his constituent seat he was a friend of george bush wich made him very unpopular the new leader i know nothing about but he seemd ok but back to peter he has instigated an applogy to the native aboriginals who have been down trodden by past right wing goverments and he hopes to lift their standard of living while they are in power the man is a wonderful

how do i find the birthday lists of the board members marty

geez billybob that is so durn furnny ive sent it on to a freind marty