jimras

I don't know about the liability part but there is usually some kind of "800" phone number that you, as a merchant, can call to confirm that the card is good.

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle, Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a young leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep-doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy

A blonde was on vacation in the Everglades. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!" The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and give it a try!" The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day,

Yeah, and her daddy owns a golf course!

Welcome aboard!! Always nice to see more people joining. Merry Christmas, too!! jim

At my workplace, I see this in the subject all the time I was told that it was some form of spam blocking that put it there. It makes it a whole lot easier for me to filter out all the crap that gets sent my way. I don't know the answer to your question but I suspect not....... I just know that it happens....... jim

how about stepping into an icy puddle and finding out it's deeper than your boots are high jim

Hey, Happy Birthday, you guys. MANY happy returns, too jim

17. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine 16. It's Hard To Kiss the Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out All Day 15. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You 14. If The Phone Don't Ring,You'll Know It's Me 13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? 12. I Liked You Better Before I Got To Know You So Well 11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Getting Better 10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win 9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight 8. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here 7. If I Had Shot You Wh

OK, experts, here's my problem I have a lot of older DOS games that I'd like to install and have available for the grandkids when they come over for Christmas but I can't get them to install. Most of them have a install.exe program and when I double click on it, I get a screen that askes what drive to install the program on and it doesn't automatically enter "C:\" and when I try to type in the C. I get a little beep but nothing shows on the screen. The ONLY think I can think of is that I am using a Logitech cordless keyboard thru my USB port. I have tried telling it to run in Win95 compatibi

Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear? Multiple Personality - We Three Queens Disoriented Are Dementia - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas Narcissistic - Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me) Mania - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town ... Paranoia - Santa Claus is Coming To Town (To Get Me) Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why. Depression - Silent anhedonia, Holy anhedonia. All is calm, All is pretty lonely. Obsessive Compulsive - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle

It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf, when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home. "Hello?" says a little girl's voice. "Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says Bob. "Is Mommy near the phone?" "No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank." After a brief pause, Bob says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!" "Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!" "Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, ru

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. 2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. 3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. 4. She grew on him l

I got it done I didn't realize that Nero would automatically convert the files to the right format Thanks.............jr

OK, here's the deal. I have some MP3 files that somebody sent me and I want to share them with somebody that doesn't have a MP3 player. What I want to do is burn them to a CD and then give the CD to these people. This is NOT copyrighted material--these are some funny audio files that I got from a friend. I have saved the MP3 files into "my documents\my music" and there they sit. Now, how do I get them converted into a format that will play on an audio CD player and get them burned onto a CD?? I have Nero 5.5, I have Windows Media Player, and I have Deep Burner on my computer. No idea whic

Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all Yeer. yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frickin book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa -------------------- Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody. Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?? Santa ----------------

As many of you may (or may not) know, I am an AVID golfer and therefore I love and collect golf jokes. Enjoy!! Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during Your swing, When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit One more club or two more balls. If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome Ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can Immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear And top a ball halfway there. The less skille

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that? Again the little boy nodded. He continued, "And when I take you out of the game - so another boy gets a chance to pla

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible!†“What do you mean? I'm fine.†“What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before.†“Well,†said the pirate, “we were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg, but the Doc fixed me up, and I'm fine, really.†“Oh yeah? Well, what about that hook? The last time I saw you, you had both hands.†“We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off, but the Doc fixed me up with the hook, and I fe

Hi there and welcome to BT forums. Since you asked for opinions, I'll offer mine. I'm glad to see that you have a firewall.....I don't know anything about yours but any firewall is better than not using one. Mine is hardware (router) Also using Firefox is MUCH more secure than M$'s IE although no browser is perfect. In addition, I run AdAware, Spybot S&D, and I use AVAST for my anti-virus. I occasionally will run AVG anti virus. It's good to check with a second program once in a while. Both work good and they are free! I also run SpywareBlaster and keep it up to date. All the progra

A man loses his hat, so he goes to church to steal one off of the hat rack. When he gets there, the priest is giving his sermon on the Ten Commandments. Something in the sermon gives the man a flash of insight and, after mass, the man goes to confession to tell the priest what he was going to do. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." "Go ahead, son." "I lost my hat and I came to church today to steal a hat off of the rack." "Is that so?" "But then I heard you talking about the Ten Commandments and I changed my mind." "Really? My son, did you make this decision when I was discussing the comma

Like I tell my friends.............. I'll grow older but I refuse to grow up! jr

The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?" "That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks." "But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks." "You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?

That's cute. My grand-boys will love it!! Thanks

Dear Abby, I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on What could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she Always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the cor