jimras

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN." 2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE." 3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY." 4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION." 5. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE." 6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER." HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. He do

try this open terminal type su gedit enter your password then navigate to /boot/grub/grub.conf and then change what you need to

Oh man, I LOVE "old guy" jokes. Thanks.....jr

I'm not that far from Shanenin here is WI and we had -17 with windchill of -34 Great day for Football!! Remember the Ice Bowl?? jr

Three Norwegians went down to Mexico to celebrate college graduation, got drunk, and woke up in jail, only to find that they were to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, Sven, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if he has any last words. He says, "I yust graduated from Waldorf College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees; beg for Sven's forgiveness, and rele

A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!" The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican." The man goes on and encounters another passerby "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!" The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese." The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shak

I KNOW that guy!! jr

I agree to go with the bigger guys that you KNOW are legit. I also tend to shop local if at all possible.......if you figure in the shipping cost when you go to buy something, that gets the prices pretty close. How much is it worth to you to be able to walk in to the store if you end up with a problem? my 2 cents worth...........

"22. In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden. Thus the word GOLF entered into the English language." BTW--did you realize that "golf" spelled backwards is FLOG? I heard that they named the game "golf" because "Oh S**T" was already taken. Good stuff, Marty!!

Doctor Bloom who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis had waiting room full of people when a little old lady, completely bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her cane. When her turn came,she went into the doctor's office, and,amazingly, emerged within half an hour walking completely erect with her head held high. A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this walked up to the little old lady and said, "It's a miracle! You walked in bent in half and now you're walking erect. What did that doctor do?" She answered, "Miracle, shmiracle . . . he gave me

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish

I like the saints, too Go get em.............

Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favorite time of week. Then one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city. It wasn't quite the same without him. A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round at the coffee table. Curious, she spoke up, "you know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?" The three lawyers looked at each other. They were hesitant. Not one of them wan

Boy, you guys are quick!! and GOOD, too!!! I double clicked on the gray bar AT THE TOP and it came right back like it was supposed to be. Thanks a million, you guys. Always helpful!!! That's why I like this board the best!!! Thanks again................jim

I have noticed something really wierd. My task manager has changed.....I only see ONE box and that shows the programs that are running in the task bar corner... like Anti Virus, Mail washer, weather watcher. There are no tabs on the top of it like there used to be so you could check the running processes and stuff. The other wierd thing is that there is NO title in the bar that shows up in the task bar and there is NO little "X" in the upper corner to close the box. The only way to get rid of it is to restart the computer. You can't even right-click on the box in the taskbar to close it e

Wal-Mart recently announced that it will begin offering customers a new discount item: their own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2- $5 range. Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of WalMart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for inexpensive wine," said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas, Bentonville. She said: "But the right name is important." Customer surveys were conducted to determ

Well, we HAVE blankets and wood stoves. Can't manage internet without power, however. Glad your back up and running. jr

A businessman was attending a conference in Africa. He had a free day and wanted to play a round of golf. He was directed to a golf course in the nearby jungle. After a short journey, he arrived at the course and asked the pro if he could get on. "Sure," said the Pro, "What's your handicap?" Not wanting to admit that he had an 18 handicap, he decided to cut it a bit. "Well, its 16," said the businessman, "But what's the relevance since I'll be playing alone?" "It's very important for us to know," said the pro, who then called a caddy. "Go out with this gentleman," said the pro

Woof!! :D

A Texas cowboy walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The elderly woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and as she and her also widowed elderly sister owned the store, there were no males employed there. She then asked if she could help the gentleman. The cowpoke said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist. The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the hi

The older brother was on vacation in Europe, and his younger brother called him and said "Your cat died." The older brother is in tears. "I loved that cat, I've had that cat for 20 years, you can't just blurt out bad news on the phone like that. You need to let me know gradually. You should have called and told me the cat was on the roof, or something. Then the next day tell me the cat still won't come down. And then after you slowly work up to it, you can tell me the cat died." The younger brother apologizes, and says he'll learn to be more sensitive in the future. "By the way," the o

I LOVE these!!! always good for a smile and a chuckle. also......remember---Murphy was an optimist!! jim

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. _____ Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." _____ Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." _____ Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Goin' to town, be back directly." _____ Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middl

Hi Nick You might want to give it a little more time..... You've only been with us for a week. I don't think you can make a judgement like that so soon. C ya around! jim

Ah, very good, very good!!