Daughter Is Out Of Control


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My fourteen year old daughter has had a mobile phone(we have a family plan) for a while now. She pays a small portion of the bill every month, like $15. For $5 extra dollars a month she added on 400 text messages/month. in three weeks time, she has used about 3000 messages. Her overage charges(.10 each) for just messaging are $260(plus tax), Holy sh*t. She has a paper route and money saved, so she will pay it all. None the less, I am going to disable text messeging. She is at that age, if I politley nag her about her usage(are you staying under 100 per week?), I get the response, "LEAVE ME ALONE i KNOW!!"

I need to keep it in perspective. When I was her age I has drinking, smoking(selling) pot, doing(selling) LSD. I guess things are going reletively well ;-)

I see a pattern. Now I use computers(selling my computer knowlege for money)

Edited by shanenin
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Hey Shane,

Yeah, that's a lot. I personally don't really like text messaging at all. I'd rather use a computer and have a real keyboard, but that's just me. I know people in the UK and Europe use text messaging a lot more than here in the US. I was talking to someone around there and he said that some people have gotten about 2,500 in a week alone! That's incredible. My girlfriend (Mandy) also used to text message a lot, but she hasn't really done it for a while. I like to send her picture messages from time to time with my phone though.

B

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One hundred text messages A DAY?!? I barely SPEAK a hundred words a day! (OK, that's an exaggeration.)

I don't have a cell so a basic question: EACH time you hit send counts as ONE message? Even if they're all to one person? So, "Hey," "Yeah," "Me too," "Tomorrow," "OK," "CYA." That's FIVE messages you have to pay for? (And the five the other person sends you costs them too?)

I'm in the wrong business ...

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Hi shanenin. Yes, there are a lot worse things she could be doing at that age, but you should still not ignore the problem. When I had a cell phone (I dropped it and it shattered a few months ago <_< ) I had no text messaging included in the plan. However, I still had the capability to do it. This sounds like what you have, with the inability to cancel it. Mine also cost $0.10 for every text sent and received. Basically what my parents told me was, if I didn't pay for all the text message charges (along with the other service charges I owed) then they would take away the phone. Maybe something for you to try? It didn't bother me too much, because I don't text message; but I don't know how your daughter would take something like that.

Best of luck with the situation.

Matt

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I grew up in a family with 5 girls, no boys-and we were "stairsteps", which meant 5 girls between the ages of 13 and 18 at one point.

First of all, Shanenin, *hugs* keep repeating, "its only temporary, its only temporary". When Daughter was 12 and beginning her "Jeckyl and Hyde Phase", I reminded her frequently that she will be back feeling like her sweet self by 16--maybe mind over matter, but it worked!

Compromise Plan--is there an option to get unlimited texting? Daughter has that with Verizon and its $10 month. Of course, make your Daughter pay for it :thumbsup:

Foot Down Plan--Ground her from her phone--not for months, but maybe 3-7 days (I discovered 24-48 hour grounding is as effective as a month long grounding, and I'M not grounded, too!!) Maybe she'll realise that texting ain't all that thrilling once away from it for a while.

Or set up new rules where she ONLY has her cell in her possession when she's out--the original plan was probably for her to use in emergency situations, wasn't it? Otherwise, make her use the land line or IM on the computer. The problem will be having to keep the phone in Mom or Dad's pocket and handing it to her when she leaves for somewhere. You'll be doing that with car keys soon--will be a training lesson :D

Social Networking Plan--talk to her friends when they come by the house and tell them to just call her! If she is paying for all this texting, she won't be able to afford to go to the movies or the mall. Amazing how friends can be cooperative at that age--Most of the time, the friends will say, "Sounds good, my parents are bellyaching about the same thing"

I for one would probably do all three!

EDIT : Another option is that seeing as she says, " I KNOW, DAD, I KNOOOOOWWWW", give her a month to prove herself--you can remind and encourage ("how's the texting diet going?"), but don't nag--this test will be up to her!. If she is successful in toning down her texting, YOU get the opportunity to encourage her and tell her how proud you are of her and SHE will have accomplished something major. Little girls going on 40 need to hear that a LOT! Hmmm, rethinking, maybe I'd do the month trial first, then do the above....

***Oooooh, I can still hear doorslamming in my head from those days****

Liz

Edited by blim
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Hey shanenin :D

Good luck with the text messaging issue with your daughter. I think you're smart to deal with this now. Yes, you're right, at her age there a far worse things she could be doing. My eldest daughter is 12 years old and she has quite the attitude. Her last report card wasn't up to her usual standards. I blame myself for this as I haven't been keeping track of her homework as I usually do. In the fall I'll be watching her a bit more closely and keeping up to date with her teacher......heck I may unplug msn. :D

Take it easy, man. :D

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Basically what my parents told me was, if I didn't pay for all the text message charges (along with the other service charges I owed) then they would take away the phone.
Edited by shanenin
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When Daughter was 12 and beginning her "Jeckyl and Hyde Phase", I reminded her frequently that she will be back feeling like her sweet self by 16--maybe mind over matter, but it worked!
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We do have a solution to txting in ireland, and almost every kid has one, its called pre-paid mobile(we have more than 100% penetration of mobiles, so yes that means some people have more than 1, and yes ive seen one person with 4...........). So its like a coin machine. That way you can only spend whats already in the account.

I dont know if thats even a possibility in the states?

Just a thought.

Pierce

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Ya Pierce. We've got Pre-paid plans. Unfortunately, most of them are rip-offs. Pre-paid plans cost so much, you have to keep re-paying, and you get very little minutes. I tried 3 pre-paid plans before I finally got my Sprint phone. Basically, pre-paid is only good if you only talk a very little bit, but you will use them, because the minutes you pay for expire. -_-

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Same here, full bill plans are not popular for young people, cause if they did, the 100 txt's a day would be put to shame by almost everybody here.

On christmas day alone 25million text messages were sent!! Theres only 5million people in ireland!

Pierce

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I've got 100 text messages per month, and the problem is the received messages! I probably send out 30 each month, but receive over 100 from friends with random crap on there.

Just be glad she hasn't texted to Jamster or the Joke-a-day things that cost $1 a day!

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i own a Tmobile Sidekick, all my friend who have a sidekick, get a free text messaging. But they and i are using a different plans. We using a Data Plan which it a unlimited internet access, Umlimited Email, unlimited instant messaging. Text Msg is only free is send to the same model as my. Sidekick send to sidekick is free.

*petting sidekick*

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