You Did What?

[Shadow_Thomas]

After years of frustration, the Smiths had no children and

decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day

the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and

said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby

photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning madam. You don't know me, but I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut

in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a

specialty of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have

a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on

the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living

room floor is fun too; you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry

and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But

if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or

seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to

be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with

that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know it!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio

of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in

downtown London."

"Oh my god!!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider

their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer

handed Mrs. Smith the picture.

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to

get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five

deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in

amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours,

too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could

hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush

my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my

equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on

your, eh...equipment?"

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod

so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??" Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much

too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam?

Madam? ... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

[Darrenkook]

Shadow...my neighbor!! That was good...glad to see a post from you!!

[Matt]

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!

[marko_tomas13]

LOL keep em coming shadow

[rv56]

LOL

Good one Shadow......!!!!!!!

[macmarauder]

LMFAO! LMFAO! LMFAO! :D

[cowsgonemadd3]

Ha ha but a bad ending should have had to person to come do the job lol come up at the end!