bozodog

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Posts posted by bozodog

  3. Dumb Laws

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    Michigan

    A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.

    (but she can get pierced or tatooed)

    No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison.

    (does this mean a woman can?)

    My town, Kalamazoo

    It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.

  5. Moxilla And Foxfire?

    in Windows 10, 8, 7, Vista, and XP

    Posted

    Hi Missy,

    I use Mozilla, and love it. I have all my e-mail accounts loaded into it, so all i have to do is open it and it's all there. I like haveing everything all wrapped up into one.

    Yes it is bigger than Firefox... but much safer then IE..

    You can set the home page to anything you want...

    Nice to see you back, it's been a while. :)

  7. Phone Thru Cable Modem

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    I have had Vonage VoIP for 2 months... I love it!!! Signed up on-line... $18 a month for 500 mins all over the US and Canada. Anytime... Clear as any land-line ever... even international. ($.03 a min. to the UK) No contracts...

    If you are looking at Vonage... PM me your email addy... we can both get a free month of services.

    It also has great other services... like free voice mail.. 3 party calling.. caller ID.. all included.

    I recommend it!

    Oh, and they have a way to reach 911 in most areas...

  14. New Wallpaper Decision

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    Ok Gang! I've tried and tried, but can't decide on my own which image I should use for my wallpaper to "christen" the new PC rig. I'm now asking for YOUR help on this decision by using this poll.

    Thank you all!

    **Thanks to Subratam for fixing the poll issues for me.

    Don't know about you Nerelda... but I change mine often. No matter how well i like one, it's not long before I'm looking for something different. Searching for them is fun too!

  15. Confession

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    Alright! fess up my man... Just when did you get married? (sobs)

    Yes tonight I will be alone, the wife wants me on the couch, and to tell you the truth I don't feel like moving off so it is a win, win situation for me....hahahhahahahaha

  16. New Wallpaper Decision

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    Well, it sure is tough making up my mind at 6am.... really liked #1. #8 is real super too. But, being a critter lover... I had to go with #4. that cat is great, and I like dark wallpaper. Looks like you still have 3 to make a decision on. Tough choices.

  17. Confession

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    Ya, sure Tyme... but never answer them. Hiya guy, welcome back.

    Humm, well I like fruitcake too, but I have to admit.. liver and onions are great!

    But my all time favorite is...... camp site eggs... throw the meat and vegs into the pan.... add eggs and cheese. wash it all down with champagne cocktails.... burnt toast too. nice and smokey from the open fire.

  22. Virus

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    Gerry Haliwell virus:

    Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

    AOL virus:

    Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

    BT virus:

    Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AOL virus.

    Politically Correct virus:

    Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

    Arnold Schwarzenegger virus:

    Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

    Government Economist virus:

    Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

    New World Order virus:

    Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

    Government Bureaucrat virus:

    Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

    Texas virus:

    Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

    Adam and Eve virus:

    Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

    Parliament virus:

    The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

    Airline virus:

    You're in Heathrow but your data is in Charles De Gaul.

    Freudian virus:

    Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying to its own motherboard.

    Pay As You Go virus:

    Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.

    Elvis virus:

    Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

    Nike virus:

    Just does it.

    Government virus

    Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.

    Star Trek virus:

    Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

    Private Health Care virus:

    Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for £4,500.

    _________________

  23. Work Ethics

    in Open Chat

    Posted · Edited by Chappy

    From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

    What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

    Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

    If:

    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:

    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

    Then:

    H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

    8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

    and

    WORK ETHICS

    K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

    11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

    But,

    A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

    1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

    And,

    B-U-L-L-$-H-!-T

    2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

    AND, look how far a$$ kissing will take you.

    A-$-$-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

    So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bull$h!t and A$$ kissing that will put you over the top.

    _________________

  24. $200.00 !

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    ohn and his wife Mary were having a shower together in their upstairs bathroom when the doorbell rang. Mary heard the bell, got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around her, went downstairs, and opened the door.

    Their neighbor Charlie looked at her from the doorway, and said, "Oh. I see that I got you out of the shower. Sorry about that."

    "That's all right," Mary said, "What do you want?"

    Not too much... my goodness you have beautiful skin. It's so pink from the shower. Mary, if I was to give you a hundred dollars, would you remove the towel from your upper body?"

    Mary thought about it for a minute, figured why not, for a hundred bucks, and removed the towel from her breasts.

    "Wow," Charlie exclaimed, "they are truly beautiful. Listen, for another hundred bucks would you consider taking the towel all the way off?"

    "Why not," Mary thought, "that's a lot of money," and she dropped the towel completely to the floor.

    Charlie had a good look, complimented her again on her fine looking body, reached into his pocket, took out two hundred dollars, gave it to her, and left.

    As she got back up stairs and was getting back into the shower, John asked her who was at the door.

    "Just Charlie," she said, as she started to rub his back.

    "Charlie Eh," said John, "Did he give you the two hundred dollars he owed me?"