garmanma

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Posts posted by garmanma

  2. Redneck Ettiquite

    in The Comedy Club

    Posted

    Redneck Book of Manners

    1. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

    2. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.

    3. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.

    4. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

    ***DINING OUT ***

    1. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs.

    ***ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME ***

    1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

    2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.

    ***PERSONAL HYGIENE ***

    1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.

    2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. Howe ver, if you live alone..... deodorant is a waste of good money.

    ***DATING (Outside the Family) ***

    1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

    2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested. "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."

    3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

    4. Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance, such as,"ya sure don't sweat much for a fat broad."

    ***WEDDINGS ***

    1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

    2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.

    3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appear ance.

    4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

    ***DRIVING ETIQUETTE ***

    1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.

    2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.

    3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

    4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

    5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.

    6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

    ***TWO REASONS WHY IT IS HARD TO SOLVE A REDNECK MURDER***

    1. All the DNA is the same.

    2. There are no dental records.

  10. Truckers Strike

    in Open Chat

    Posted

    My wife dispatches and runs Accounts Receivable for a trucking company that deals with shipping containers. The cost of fuel is killing them. Plus they have to stop in every state and top-off or pay a ridicules fuel tax surcharge

  19. No Need To Activate Xp?

    in Windows 10, 8, 7, Vista, and XP

    Posted

    Usually the OEM Key is already installed on the motherboard of a name brand machine. If you use the right OEM CD it will always go through without activation needed. I have seen this with both Dell and HP/Compact PCs

    I have a Dell Test machine that I never have to go through the activation process with. Just reformat and go.

    That was my guess, but why one time and not the other?

    Mark

  20. No Need To Activate Xp?

    in Windows 10, 8, 7, Vista, and XP

    Posted

    I kind of ran into the same thing last week. Just started to reload a Dell. It asked for the key and I discovered that 2 keys on the keyboard didn't work, so I canceled the install. After getting another keyboard and trying again, it never asked for it. Talked to the lady the other day and she hasn't had any issues.

    Mark