martymas Posted January 23, 2006 Report Share Posted January 23, 2006 Hollywood Squares and its comics --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Remember Hollywood Squares and its comics, These great questions andanswers are fromthe days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, notscripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions.Q. Do female frogs croak?A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high shouldyou be? A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years!A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you thinkthat he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he'smarried?A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with yourhands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, andI'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going toget any during the first year?A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudistcamps. One is politics, what is the other?A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will agoose do?A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting intothe habit of kissing a lot of people?A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the Army.Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does this mean?A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected. Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on hishead, what was he trying to do?A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?A. Charley Weaver: His feet.Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do inbed?A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 I loved the old Hollywood Squares! Thanks for those, Marty, sending that to the kids...ah, poor things being too young to know "good tv"Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chappy Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 Some of those are downright hilarious Marty...THX!!I really love this one tho...."Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will agoose do?A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?LOL...a "goose"...I loved Paul Lynde on that show! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rv56 Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 Good one Marty.... I remember that show....watched it a few times and liked it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JSKY Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 It's on late night reruns, And I haven't watched it for years. But you know, after reading and laughing at these. I'm going to have to catch them.....▲ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martymas Posted January 25, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 unfortunitlya lot of those shows werent available to us down undertho im familiar with all the celebritysim a fan of paul lyndesand george gobelmarty Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chappy Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high shouldyou be? A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.Having been a semi-professional skydiver at one time in my previous life, this one is oh-so very true for some that are about to make their first jump... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
robroy Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 My first jump was from 800 ft from a basket under a barrage balloon. I almost didn't make the second. That was standard practice in the British army then, 3 jumps from the balloon prior to a real one from a plane. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bar5 Posted January 29, 2006 Report Share Posted January 29, 2006 Ah, memories..............I use to watch that show.Loved Paul Lynde. Thanks Marty.Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high shouldyou be?A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.You gotta love that one. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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