cherokeechief Posted September 4, 2005 Report Share Posted September 4, 2005 These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things peopleactually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published bycourt reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchangeswere actually taking place. Some of these are excellent - don't miss thelast one.Q: Are you sexually active?A: No, I just lie there.========Q: What is your date of birth?A: July fifteenth.Q: What year?A: Every year.========Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.========Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?A: Yes.Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?A: I forget.Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you'veforgotten?========Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.Q: How long has he lived with you?A: Forty-five years.========Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up thatmorning?A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"Q: And why did that upset you?A: My name is Susan.========Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or theoccult?A: We both do.Q: Voodoo?A: We do.Q: You do?A: Yes, voodoo.========Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, hedoesn't know about it until the next morning?========Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?========Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?========Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?A: Yes.Q: And what were you doing at that time?========Q: She had three children, right?A: Yes.Q: How many were boys?A: None.Q: Were there any girls?========Q: How was your first marriage terminated?A: By death.Q: And by whose death was it terminated?========Q: Can you describe the individual?A: He was about medium height and had a beard.Q: Was this a male, or a female?========Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a depositionnotice which I sent to your attorney?A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.========Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.========Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?A: Oral.========Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time?A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.========Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?===-====Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for apulse?A: No.Q: Did you check for blood pressure?A: No.Q: Did you check for breathing?A: No.Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began theautopsy?A: No.Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing lawsomewhere. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rv56 Posted September 4, 2005 Report Share Posted September 4, 2005 Those all were so funny Cherokeechief..... But that last one was a real good one... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mikex Posted September 4, 2005 Report Share Posted September 4, 2005 LOL Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hitest Posted September 4, 2005 Report Share Posted September 4, 2005 These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things peopleactually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published bycourt reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchangeswere actually taking place. Some of these are excellent - don't miss thelast one.Q: Are you sexually active?A: No, I just lie there.========Q: What is your date of birth?A: July fifteenth.Q: What year?A: Every year.========Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.========Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?A: Yes.Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?A: I forget.Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you'veforgotten?========Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.Q: How long has he lived with you?A: Forty-five years.========Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up thatmorning?A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"Q: And why did that upset you?A: My name is Susan.========Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or theoccult?A: We both do.Q: Voodoo?A: We do.Q: You do?A: Yes, voodoo.========Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, hedoesn't know about it until the next morning?========Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?========Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?========Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?A: Yes.Q: And what were you doing at that time?========Q: She had three children, right?A: Yes.Q: How many were boys?A: None.Q: Were there any girls?========Q: How was your first marriage terminated?A: By death.Q: And by whose death was it terminated?========Q: Can you describe the individual?A: He was about medium height and had a beard.Q: Was this a male, or a female?========Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a depositionnotice which I sent to your attorney?A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.========Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.========Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?A: Oral.========Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time?A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.========Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?===-====Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for apulse?A: No.Q: Did you check for blood pressure?A: No.Q: Did you check for breathing?A: No.Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began theautopsy?A: No.Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing lawsomewhere.<{POST_SNAPBACK}>LOL Quote Link to post Share on other sites
marko_tomas13 Posted September 4, 2005 Report Share Posted September 4, 2005 The last one is the greatest Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tg1911 Posted September 4, 2005 Report Share Posted September 4, 2005 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bar5 Posted September 4, 2005 Report Share Posted September 4, 2005 I also loved the last one. Barb Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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