martymas Posted June 22, 2005 Report Share Posted June 22, 2005 Real 911 Calls --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.Dispatcher: Do you have an address?Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.Dispatcher: Excuse me?Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it.Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: Hi, is this the Police?Dispatcher: This is 9-1-1. Do you need police assistance?Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?Caller: Fire, I guess.Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?Caller: I was wondering.....does the fire department put snow chains on their trucks?Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the fire department could come over and help me?Dispatcher: Help you what?Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-oneDispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.Dispatcher: Is this her first child?Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!And the winner is..........Dispatcher: 9-1-1Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?Caller: NoDispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?Caller: Running from the Police. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chappy Posted June 22, 2005 Report Share Posted June 22, 2005 Good one Marty!!Scary thing is, I've personally heard them just as..if not more, stupid. There really are people that stupid out there, and thats scary.Just last night I took a complaint call from a tenant complaining that the caretaker of their apartment building hadn't vacuumed the floors for months...true!!!They actually wanted us to come out and tell the caretaker to clean more often!I told them to call the Ambulance...thats their department...we do windows not floors. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
echobay Posted June 22, 2005 Report Share Posted June 22, 2005 DOH Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martymas Posted June 22, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2005 yp chappy yes recently i helped a friends wife to set up a compt he is a resaerch scientist at the antarticnext morning she rand ans said i cant get this thing going when i went there to helpshe hadent turned the wall plug because she thought it ran by a battery and couldnt find where the batterry fitted i didnt laugh because i thought perhaps i may have been like that when i started marty Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rv56 Posted June 22, 2005 Report Share Posted June 22, 2005 Thats amazing that there are people like this out there.... I can only imagine the frustration to the dispatcher with calls like that....Good one Marty.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tg1911 Posted June 23, 2005 Report Share Posted June 23, 2005 :lol:Good ones, marty. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cowsgonemadd3 Posted June 23, 2005 Report Share Posted June 23, 2005 Those are great! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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