Flight Logs

[bar5]

A friend of mine sent this to me, thought you might enjoy.

These are hilarious but a bit scary!

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys

to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the light that

need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then

respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken,

and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be

said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor!

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by

Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

(P = the problem logged by the pilot.)

(S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on

something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

[marko_tomas13]

LOL those are great

[tg1911]

Thanks, bar5.

Those were hilarious.

Having been in the aviation maintenance field, I know exactly what the mechanics are going through.

Those made my day!!

[thesidekickcat]

That's funny! Thanks!

God bless everyone.

[robroy]

Haven't had that good a laugh in weeks rofl

JD

[macmarauder]

so which airline were these found at

[rv56]

Thats a good one bar5........

I like that one......

[robroy]

so which airline were these found at

Yeah which airline, because I don't want to be flying with them

At least not withoutthe seat nearest the door and a parachute

JD

[macmarauder]

so which airline were these found at 

Yeah which airline, because I don't want to be flying with them

At least not withoutthe seat nearest the door and a parachute

JD

i wander how the flight attendants would react to your carry on being a parachute. that sounds like something from a hidden camera show.

[blim]

[quote name=macmarauder' date='Mar 22 2005,

i wander how the flight attendants would react to your carry on being a parachute. that sounds like something from a hidden camera show.

Well, nowadays, you probably wouldn't get past security, but that sure makes me wish TriggerHappyTV (British version) was still on Comedy Central.....Liz

[macmarauder]

that's exactly who i was thinking of too.