handplane Posted September 20, 2006 Report Share Posted September 20, 2006 One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave upbeans.Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on theway home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was morethan I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it,I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimeddelightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat anjust as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang.He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and thepressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was outof the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizertruck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like thisfor another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable.When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned,apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the tablechorused: "Happy Birthday!" I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
robroy Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 roflmao Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flashh4 Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Thats funny, sending to my daughter, thanks for the laugh !! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
thesidekickcat Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 (edited) That's hilarious!!! Though I'm wondering how the guests survived through it all so quietly while the beans 'expressed themselves'? Ha!!!PatGod bless everyone Edited September 21, 2006 by thesidekickcat Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fatso913 Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 lmao! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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