snyper Posted July 31, 2006 Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Dress CodeIt is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. Ifwe see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume youare doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If youdress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that youmay buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If youdress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore youdo not need a raise.Sick DaysWe will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. Ifyou are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.Personal DaysEach employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are calledSaturday & Sunday.Bereavement LeaveThis is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for deadfriends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to havenon-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employeeinvolvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the lateafternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hourand subsequently leave one hour early.Toilet UseEntirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now astrict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of threeminutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, thestall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your secondoffence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board underthe "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picturewill be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.Lunch BreakSkinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, sothat they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunchto get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby peopleget 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink aSlim-Fast.Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide apositive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments,concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternationand input should be directed elsewhere.The Management Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted August 1, 2006 Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 Sounds like some of the places I've worked!"Sick DaysWe will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. Ifyou are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work."Exactly! If you're well enough to drive to the Doctor's office and spend two hours in the waiting room and cubby hole, then spend another hour at the pharmacy, yup, might as well go to work and get paid for your wasted time! Hubby's workplace has a "sick pay with Doctor's slip". He has never gotten sick pay (I suppose if one broke a bone or ended up in the hospital, OK, but for a "bug"?? Hubby says "stay home skip the pay and don't infect everyone in the office!")Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted August 1, 2006 Report Share Posted August 1, 2006 Dress CodeIt is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. Ifwe see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume youare doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If youdress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that youmay buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If youdress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore youdo not need a raise. ... Exactly the kind of Catch-22 my place of employment would embrace. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheTerrorist_75 Posted August 2, 2006 Report Share Posted August 2, 2006 (edited) Our work rulesDress codeThis job curtails a lot of hard, sweaty labor. Jeans, T-shirt and work boots required. We don't care what condition they're in because you will be throwing them out after wearing them a few times.. PayYou get paid what we think you earned. No more, no less. Pay day occurs when we get paid for the job. The faster you work the faster the job is completed and pay day arrives quicker.Sick daysYou must be one sick desperate person to be working for us.Personal daysThe only days you get off are the days that the boss doesn't want to work. That rarely occurs.Bereavement leaveMake sure it is an Irish wake and you invite the crew.Toilet useStay in the porta-potty as long as you can hold your breath. We will check if you are in there longer than 2 minutes to see if you passed out.Meal breaksBring your own lunch and/or dinner and eat it on the fly. We don't stop working.If you have a problem with our company, leave. There's more people out there that are hungry and need money. Edited August 2, 2006 by TheTerrorist_75 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 ... If you have a problem with our company, leave. ... Hence the need for unions. And immigrant labor. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheTerrorist_75 Posted August 3, 2006 Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 ... If you have a problem with our company, leave. ... Hence the need for unions. And immigrant labor. I would like to get dependable and hard working laborers. I have a guy that is 65 years old working with me. He busts his ass carrying 80 lbs. landscape blocks without complaint. Those damn blocks do a job on me. We've had some younger guys in better shape whine and moan that the work is too difficult. We work until the heat starts draining us physically and mentally. When the cussing and throwing materials/tools starts we stop for the day. We provide a cooler full of bottled water plus all the fixings for sandwiches. The pay isn't exactly union wage but the hard workers can still clear $100/day.If we were union it would require two people to move one block (laborers) and two to lay it (masons). I am a former union member and decided to leave when the high pay and less work demands became too ridiculous. Most of our money went to support the fat cats running the union. Those same fat cats would play favorites when assigning jobs (ass kissers worked more), rob our pension funds and decide to take away our medical benefits after retirement. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
snyper Posted August 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2006 ^^^ same problem every where,while there is a need for unions, nyc and Boston contractors union really take the biscuit. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chappy Posted August 4, 2006 Report Share Posted August 4, 2006 Heheh....good ones!I won't comment on it tho, too much to say and not enough time.You're fitting right in here Snyper....sick bugger! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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