JSKY Posted May 20, 2006 Report Share Posted May 20, 2006 >1. Works well only when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat iin a trap>2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.>3. I would not allow this employee to breed.>4. This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite won't be.>5. Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.>6. When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever>foot was previously in there.>7. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.>8. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.>9. She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.>10. This employee should go far-and the sooner he starts the better.>11. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.>12. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.>13. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.>14. A room temperature IQ.>15. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.>16. A gross ignoramus-144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.>17. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.>18. A prime candidate for natural deselection.>19. Bright as Alaska in December.>20. One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.>21. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.>22. Fell out of the family tree.>23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train is going nowhere.>24. Has two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.>25. He is so dense, light bends around him.>26. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.>27. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.>28. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.>29. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.>30. It is hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.>31. One neuron short of a synapse.>32. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.>33. Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch the 60 minutes program.>34. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.>35. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
irregularjoe Posted May 20, 2006 Report Share Posted May 20, 2006 >1. Works well only when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat iin a trap>2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.>3. I would not allow this employee to breed.>4. This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite won't be.>5. Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.>6. When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever>foot was previously in there.>7. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.>8. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.>9. She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.>10. This employee should go far-and the sooner he starts the better.>11. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.>12. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.>13. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.>14. A room temperature IQ.>15. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.>16. A gross ignoramus-144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.>17. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.>18. A prime candidate for natural deselection.>19. Bright as Alaska in December.>20. One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.>21. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.>22. Fell out of the family tree.>23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train is going nowhere.>24. Has two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.>25. He is so dense, light bends around him.>26. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.>27. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.>28. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.>29. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.>30. It is hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.>31. One neuron short of a synapse.>32. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.>33. Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch the 60 minutes program.>34. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.>35. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.sounds like some of the remodeling workers I hired. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
thesidekickcat Posted May 21, 2006 Report Share Posted May 21, 2006 6. When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whicheverfoot was previously in there.That one's way to close to home for me! As some of you have probably already noticed! Ha! PatGod bless everyone. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tictoc5150 Posted May 21, 2006 Report Share Posted May 21, 2006 LOLI had to attend an evaluation class for work and you'd be surprised how many of those were on their "what not to write" list. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hitest Posted May 21, 2006 Report Share Posted May 21, 2006 >1. Works well only when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat iin a trap>2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.>3. I would not allow this employee to breed.>4. This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite won't be.>5. Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.>6. When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever>foot was previously in there.>7. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.>8. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.>9. She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.>10. This employee should go far-and the sooner he starts the better.>11. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.>12. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.>13. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.>14. A room temperature IQ.>15. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.>16. A gross ignoramus-144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.>17. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.>18. A prime candidate for natural deselection.>19. Bright as Alaska in December.>20. One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.>21. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.>22. Fell out of the family tree.>23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train is going nowhere.>24. Has two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.>25. He is so dense, light bends around him.>26. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.>27. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.>28. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.>29. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.>30. It is hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.>31. One neuron short of a synapse.>32. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.>33. Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch the 60 minutes program.>34. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.>35. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.LOL Great ones, JSKY!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheTerrorist_75 Posted May 21, 2006 Report Share Posted May 21, 2006 Wow, I employed some of those workers. Some of my bartenders were one shot short of a jigger. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Makai Posted May 23, 2006 Report Share Posted May 23, 2006 LMAO! Good ones JSKY. I like to use "He has the IQ of a fence post". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
thesidekickcat Posted May 24, 2006 Report Share Posted May 24, 2006 I remember my Dad used to say about a slightly not on the ball worker "If his brains were gun powder he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose!"Isn't it to bad we even need such expressions for slackers? Why don't some people have a good work ethic? Were they never trained to do actual work, or is it just lazyness, or selfishly wanting everything without working for it, what is their problem?PatGod bless everyone Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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