Chappy Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 (edited) -- For the women and just in time for Xmas -- ===============================Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Followthese rules and you should have no problems.Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if healready has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. Asa man, you can never have too many cordless drills.......... No one knowswhy.Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with theword ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey, George,can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my3/8-inch socket yet?" ............... Again, no one knows why.Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from hisrear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars.................No one knowswhy.Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy menbathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, hewouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they haveworn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with thelittle picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, andflips.Rule #6: Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it willsit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave ordeodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within acouple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts.Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea................. No oneknows why.Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on thebox. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts leftover.................. No one knows why.Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, ParrLumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPAAuto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. Itdoesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must besomething I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow!Thanks.")Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they willbarbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell himthe gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"Rule #12: Tickets to a Packer game are a smart gift. However, he will notappreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."..................Everyone knows why.Rule #13: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. Ifyou don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets alabel maker.Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminumextension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be anextension ladder................ No one knows why.Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or atleast The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manilarope................ No one knows why. Edited December 17, 2005 by Chappy Quote Link to post Share on other sites
marko_tomas13 Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 Nice ones Dave, these are awesome! I'll have to pass them on. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bozodog Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 Yep, those are boy-toys, for sure..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 Truer word were never spoken. But again, everyone needs a cordless drill (best Christmas present Hubby ever got me ) hmmmm, maybe I should hint for another one....Thanks, ChappyLiz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rv56 Posted December 18, 2005 Report Share Posted December 18, 2005 Agreed with all that stuff to get for Xmas....but I've also put in for one of these... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chappy Posted December 18, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2005 NICE Gibson RV!!!I haven't touched a guitar in years....I need to buy a nice lil acoustic for me to play around with, and get my skills back. I'm so rusty, I'ld probably have trouble playing "Gloria".... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bozodog Posted December 18, 2005 Report Share Posted December 18, 2005 Mmmmm, Gibson. They used to make those beauties right here in Kalamazoo. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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