Bill Gates Essay.

[ampshock]

This is a essay I did for a english class am in, I am in 10 grade English II. I got a 98 out of 100 percent on it. I spent 3 hours at home on it, this is based off a autobiogarphy about him. This is in 5-paragraph essay form with a thesis statement and transitions from paragraph to paragraph

Bill Gates

The Importance of Bill Gates

Bill Gates is the most important and richest man on the earth.

Bill has changed the way we use computers forever. He is an excellent businessman.

Bill Gates is the most important man on earth because Bill is a very good programmer; He has good business techniques, and has created the most popular operating system.

Bill is a very good computer programmer. He has been programming since he was in grade school. He also worked for companies building programs in return for computer time.

By working for people during his youth he is exercising his ability to program. While doing so he is also making money, even at a young age.

As Bill says “Running your program is the absolute test. You write a program, try it, and either works or it doesn’t.†(Bill Gates).

Bill has written many programs in his life and is very knowledgeable. As you can see Bill knows how to test a program correctly as he has done so in the past.

With the ability to program, and his business know-how he is able to accomplish many things.

Bill Gates has very good business techniques. Bill has been able to build Microsoft from the ground up with this ability. Bill thinks that running a business is very simple.

Bill Gates looks at life as a challenge, which he thinks is fun.

Bill says, “Say you added two years to my life and let me go to business school. I don’t think I would have done a better job at Microsoft. Let’s look around these shelves and see if there are any business books. Oops. We didn’t need any.†(Bill Gates)

As you can see Bill Gates does not think that he could have done a better job as the owner of Microsoft if he went to college. Bill’s business has actual done better than other software companies such as IBM and Apple.

With Microsoft, Bill Gates has created the most popular operating system used by schools, home users, and computer enthusiast.

Bill Gates has built the most used operating system to date. Windows started out as a small file manager, and then progressed to a graphical user interface. A graphical user interface is what you see when you use a computer instead of a black screen and a small dot flashing, up on the upper left hand corner.

He has simplified the use of a computer to where most of us can function easily on one. By doing this he has made the computer easer to use for all.

Bill says, “BASIC was Microsoft’s first code that I wrote myself Windows is built on it.†(Bill Gates).

As you can see Bill Gates first programming code was named “BASIC†because it was a simple code. BASIC is so effective that Windows is built with it.

Therefore, Bill Gates has accomplished very much in his life because he has written the most popular operating system. Started the richest company in the world and is a very successful programmer. He has also inspired many people around the world to write programs also.

So how would you Grade it, Grade scale 100-90=A 89-80=B 79-70=C 69-60=D 59 and below=F. Comments welcome.

[d_leet]

This is a essay I did for a english class am in, I am in 10 grade English II. I got a 98  out of 100 percent on it. I spent 3 hours at home on it, this is based off a autobiogarphy about him. This is in 5-paragraph essay form with a thesis statement  and transitions from paragraph to paragraph           

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok, don't take any offense to what my opinions are on your essay. Now first, aren't all essays supposed to have a thesis statement, and have smooth transitiopns between paragraphs. Now as to the actual content, you repeat yourself way too much saying that " Bill Gates is the most important man on earth," and " Bill is a very good computer programmer." Your quotes of him are also incorrect, and no sources are cited, according to MLA format it should be ' "Quote," (Author Page#). ' or ' "Quote" (Author ll line#). ' I am also having a hard time figuring out the structure of your paragraphs, and how you are transitioning between them. The transitions which I do see, seem to be not as smooth as they could be, and you start way too many sentences with "Bill Gates". That's my perspective as an english student.

As a computer geek this is also not very good of a topic because to me it just seems way to obvious and overdone. You don't go into very much detail on anything, and you refer to BASIC as a " programming code" when it is a programming language, language not code ( you WRITE CODE in a programming LANGUAGE).

Overall it's way too repetitive, seems to just sumarize the biography, even though I haven't read the biography I can almost say that for sure. Your grammar is atrocious, and makes the essay hard to follow. Maybe my standards are too high now though after spending 3 hours rating essays in my AP Lang and Comp class this past Tuesday, but I don't think that I would give this essay better than a C, and probably would give it a D or F if it was an 11th grade essay.

[blim]

Picky, picky, picky!! And Amp, picky is good because being picky will improve your work!!! My kids didn't appreciate my pickyness until they got into the later years of HighSchool, now they know WHY I'm picky, it's to challenge them to do their very best. When they have me critique something, I ask, "Can I be picky?" NOW they say, "Please do!! That's why I asked you to look at this!!" (it's a miracle)

Dleet has some good points, but you do have a great start. Your work is a fascinating read and I learned some things I didn't know before, like the fact that Bill Gates didn't go to college.

I would agree that substituting "Mr Gates", or "Gates" or simply, "he" for "Bill Gates" would make the piece less redundant.

Also, I either read or saw on TV somewhere, the relationship between Apple's Founder (Steve Jobs??? I'm not sure) and Bill Gates--weren't they business partners at one time? I really don't remember the details, but what I THINK I remember was that Apple's founder decided to build his own computer with an exclusive operating system, and Gates decided to sell his operating system to current computer manufacturers--in my opinion, that was his brilliant business manuever. That story must have fascinated me if I can still remember it...would be a nice addition to your essay (but you'll have to get the facts and the accurate details!!).

You need to take the place of a reader and when you state something, imagine the reader being a total noob and asking "why or how?" I know you had a five paragraph limit, but long paragraphs are acceptable and newbies need details!

The Momma in me wouldn't grade your paper, but would have you revise it with some more detail and to tweak the multiple "Bill Gates". Always remember a reader asking "why?" and "how?"

Keep up the good work!

Liz

[isteve]

Are you getting graded on content or structure? Both need work, a lot of your facts are more opinion then fact. There is no drought that Bill is a great businessman and he did a little programing but he did and is a lot more <bite tongue>. And IBM and Apple have always been mainly hardware manufactures as opposed to MS being mostly software. Also I think bill dropped out of Harvard that where he met Steve Ballmer.

Edited October 9, 2005 by isteve

[jcl]

Since we're nitpicking, as far as I know Bill's only experience with systems programming was MS's early micro Basics, Windows is definitely not based on Basic, and while Bill may well be a great programmer, I've never heard him described as such.

[d_leet]

Since we're nitpicking, as far as I know Bill's only experience with systems programming was MS's early micro Basics, Windows is definitely not based on Basic, and while Bill may well be a great programmer, I've never heard him described as such.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Agreed, and if I may add he certainly isn't the most important man on Earth.

[thesidekickcat]

Here is a thumbnail sketch of Bill Gates. Found by an iTools/biography search.

(iTools Specific Searching)

Bill Gates A Short Biography

And another site for info on Bill.

About - Inventors - Bill Gates

When you have multiple source materials about something, it is easier to write a more detailed essay on the subject.

The internet is great for research if you put some effort into it.

This next link will help you learn how to do that research. I just found it a few hours ago, along with iTools, and will continue to use both of them in the future.

Research Launchpad

English II used to require more rigorous work even for short essays when I was in high school in the early '60's. And even if it doesn't now, then you should put more effort into it yourself. I am sorry to say I only will give you a grade C at most, and am leaning towards a D.

I can't understand a high school teacher giving you such high marks for so little effort. It seemed to me you were just trying to throw in words to make a higher word count. Also it would have helped if you had proof read it out loud to show yourself, which might have shown you how pedantic it turned out. I remember a teacher telling me once to read it out loud to myself to see if it sounded interesting, if it flowed, if it told the "who, what, where, when, and why" of the subject material, if it was missing anything etc. That takes practise but it does work. I don't practise what I was taught, due to laziness I guess, but I should. So do as I say and not as I do, speaking and writing are important tools for your future success in this tough world.

Pat.

God bless everyone.

[Aluvus]

Dleet has some good points, but you do have a great start.  Your work is a fascinating read and I learned some things I didn't know before, like the fact that Bill Gates didn't go to college.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Bill Gates went to Harvard, but dropped out.

[Bubba Bob]

On your next essay, highlight the first word in every sentence.

That's a good way to see if your too repetitive.

Edited October 9, 2005 by Bubba Bob

[ampshock]

This is a essay I did for a english class am in, I am in 10 grade English II. I got a 98  out of 100 percent on it. I spent 3 hours at home on it, this is based off a autobiogarphy about him. This is in 5-paragraph essay form with a thesis statement  and transitions from paragraph to paragraph           

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok, don't take any offense to what my opinions are on your essay. Now first, aren't all essays supposed to have a thesis statement, and have smooth transitiopns between paragraphs. Now as to the actual content, you repeat yourself way too much saying that " Bill Gates is the most important man on earth," and " Bill is a very good computer programmer." Your quotes of him are also incorrect, and no sources are cited, according to MLA format it should be ' "Quote," (Author Page#). ' or ' "Quote" (Author ll line#). ' I am also having a hard time figuring out the structure of your paragraphs, and how you are transitioning between them. The transitions which I do see, seem to be not as smooth as they could be, and you start way too many sentences with "Bill Gates". That's my perspective as an english student.

As a computer geek this is also not very good of a topic because to me it just seems way to obvious and overdone. You don't go into very much detail on anything, and you refer to BASIC as a " programming code" when it is a programming language, language not code ( you WRITE CODE in a programming LANGUAGE).

Overall it's way too repetitive, seems to just sumarize the biography, even though I haven't read the biography I can almost say that for sure. Your grammar is atrocious, and makes the essay hard to follow. Maybe my standards are too high now though after spending 3 hours rating essays in my AP Lang and Comp class this past Tuesday, but I don't think that I would give this essay better than a C, and probably would give it a D or F if it was an 11th grade essay.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This essay is writen for extra credit, and my teacher told me that i dont have to write down the page numbers for this assingment. And yes I made a mistake with stating his name too many times, yes I see now that I didnt do very good trasnsistions. Very Good observations!

Are you getting graded on content or structure? Both need work, a lot of your facts are more opinion then fact. There is no drought that Bill is a great businessman and he did a little programing but he did and is a lot more <bite tongue>. And IBM and Apple have always been mainly hardware manufactures as opposed to MS being mostly software. Also I think bill dropped out of Harvard that where he met Steve Ballmer.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I Was Graded on structure, yes he met Steve when he droped out. This essay is mostly opion since I have a lazy teacher and he dosent realy care what the content is in it. I go to a school that is a D rated school so they give lots of slack on student effort. I dont mean to say that I make D's I am just saying thats why I made a good grade, because of the slack.

Since we're nitpicking, as far as I know Bill's only experience with systems programming was MS's early micro Basics, Windows is definitely not based on Basic, and while Bill may well be a great programmer, I've never heard him described as such.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

yes he did not buid windows on basic, I changed a quote and put that in there because I couldnt find anymore good quotes. And my teacher dosent care on whats it about, just the structure.

[JDoors]

...          Bill says, “Say you added two years to my life and let me go to business school. I don’t think I would have done a better job at Microsoft. Let’s look around these shelves and see if there are any business books. Oops. We didn’t need any.†(Bill Gates) ...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'd have given you an "A" just for making me laugh by including this quote. (Though as a teacher I would want to know exactly where that quote came from. )

[jcl]

yes he did not buid windows on basic, I changed a quote and put that in there because I couldnt find anymore good quotes. And my teacher dosent care on whats it about, just the structure.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You know I actually thought it might have been a slight misquote. In a sense, everything Microsoft has done is founded on the early Basics they sold.

For what it's worth, I heartily approve of BSing your way through school. I conned my way through high school, earned (*cough*) a 4.0 GPA my last couple years and graduated despite only doing about one year of work and skipping all but one of the required subjects. Fun times.

Edited October 9, 2005 by jcl

[Bubba Bob]

For what it's worth, I heartily approve of BSing your way through school. I conned my way through high school, earned (*cough*) a 4.0 GPA my last couple years and graduated despite only doing about one year of work and skipping all but one of the required subjects. Fun times.

How?

[JDoors]

I don't know how HE did it, but when I was in high school I learned of a study done in college that showed students who look the teacher directly in the eye and nod their heads as if they were paying attention did well without actually doing a lick of work.

I started sitting in the first row, looking the teacher in they eye, and nodded my head as if I had a clue what they were talking about. It actually worked in several classes (not all though). In the classes that it worked the teachers acted like I was their best student. They talked directly to me (I guess they thought it was nice to finally have a student paying attention to them). They never questioned my lack of work (I'm guessin' they believed I fully comprehended the material and so required no further proof of it). I generally got a "B" in those classes whereas I was a terrible student otherwise (I had serious personal & learning "issues").

On the other hand, maybe the actual reason it worked so well was that I could not avoid learning the material. Sitting in the first row, always looking at the teacher, trying to "look" like I agreed with everything they said (which meant I had to at least listen enough to know WHEN to nod). I probably absorbed enough of the course material to do well without even being aware of it. Doh! Maybe I skipped reading THAT part of the original study.

And, was it sheer coincidence that around that same time I became a better student in the other classes? Coincidence that I became more interested? That I actually understood what the heck they were talking about for the first time in my life?

I don't know what this has to do with the original essay but you brought back some memories there.

[JSKY]

If you can find the movie "Pirates of Silicon Vally" It tells the story of how Bill Gates gets his start and moves up in the world. How he came up with DOS. (Paid the original programmer 50K, then sold the idea to IBM. But kept the rights to it). That's what set him on his way. How he bought the "Mouse" from a programmer after IBM laughed them out of the office. How he stoled the "Windows operating system" from Apple and launched it on the eve of Apples releasing it.

It is a good movie. Well worth watching.

[ampshock]

I don't know how HE did it, but when I was in high school I learned of a study done in college that showed students who look the teacher directly in the eye and nod their heads as if they were paying attention did well without actually doing a lick of work.

I started sitting in the first row, looking the teacher in they eye, and nodded my head as if I had a clue what they were talking about. It actually worked in several classes (not all though). In the classes that it worked the teachers acted like I was their best student. They talked directly to me (I guess they thought it was nice to finally have a student paying attention to them). They never questioned my lack of work (I'm guessin' they believed I fully comprehended the material and so required no further proof of it). I generally got a "B" in those classes whereas I was a terrible student otherwise (I had serious personal & learning "issues").

On the other hand, maybe the actual reason it worked so well was that I could not avoid learning the material. Sitting in the first row, always looking at the teacher, trying to "look" like I agreed with everything they said (which meant I had to at least listen enough to know WHEN to nod). I probably absorbed enough of the course material to do well without even being aware of it. Doh! Maybe I skipped reading THAT part of the original study.     

And, was it sheer coincidence that around that same time I became a better student in the other classes? Coincidence that I became more interested? That I actually understood what the heck they were talking about for the first time in my life?

I don't know what this has to do with the original essay but you brought back some memories there.     

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LOL, I use that same concept.

[isteve]

If you can find the movie "Pirates of Silicon Vally" It tells the story of how Bill Gates gets his start and moves up in the world. How he came up with DOS. (Paid the original programmer 50K, then sold the idea to IBM. But kept the rights to it). That's what set him on his way. How he bought the "Mouse" from a  programmer after IBM laughed them out of the office. How he stoled the "Windows operating system" from Apple and launched it on the eve of Apples releasing it.

It is a good movie. Well worth watching.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Pirates of Silicon Valley was just recently released on DVD, not bad for a made for tv movie.

[Chappy]

This essay is writen for extra credit, and my teacher told me that i dont have to write down the page numbers for this assingment. And yes I made a mistake with stating his name too many times, yes I see now that I didnt do very good trasnsistions. Very Good observations!

Totally agree, thats the first thing that threw me off of the entire piece.

I Was Graded on structure, yes he met Steve when he droped out. This essay is mostly opion since I have a lazy teacher and he dosent realy care what the content is in it. I go to a school that is a D rated school so they give lots of slack on student effort. I dont mean to say that I make D's I am just saying thats why I made a good grade, because of the slack.

Here is a shining example of the MAJOR problems with the education system today, the teachers for the most part, just don't care enough anymore, and the system doesn't support them.

yes he did not buid windows on basic, I changed a quote and put that in there because I couldnt find anymore good quotes. And my teacher dosent care on whats it about, just the structure.

Changing a quote shouldn't be allowed, as then it's no longer a quote, it has become your own conjecture.

One of the things I disapprove of most in the education system today, is this ideal where "No child fails" anymore....what's up with that!! They have totally missed the point with education, to prepare the leaders of tomorrow for the real world. Failure is a part of that world, and the kids better get used to it and learn to deal with it, by extending a better effort next time.

I could rant extensively on the failures of the Education system to our young people (where's that rant thread again...), but it's late and I'm too tired, but to be totally honest here, I would give this essay a failing grade on all points.

Sorry ampshock, it's not your fault in the least. With a teacher such as you've described here, I'm surprised that kids in your class can even spell. How in the world can they expect to educate our children, when educators have that type of attitude.

[Vile_DR]

If you can find the movie "Pirates of Silicon Vally" It tells the story of how Bill Gates gets his start and moves up in the world. How he came up with DOS. (Paid the original programmer 50K, then sold the idea to IBM. But kept the rights to it). That's what set him on his way. How he bought the "Mouse" from a  programmer after IBM laughed them out of the office. How he stoled the "Windows operating system" from Apple and launched it on the eve of Apples releasing it.

It is a good movie. Well worth watching.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Watched it during my freshman year of College...other one..."Triumph of the Nerds" explains how Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Xerox losing the GUI, IBM drowning in the beginning of the PC creating, and alot of garage "CODERS" putting it all together...

Almost the same but different prospective on some ideas and concepts...