Children And Church


Recommended Posts

CHILDREN AND CHURCH

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin

asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so

quickly.

"How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said. All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop

said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to

his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister When I grow up."

That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"

Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I

figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."

º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?

A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church

service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed

trash against us."

º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.

"How do you know what to say?" he asked.

"Why, God tells me."

"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.

Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give

him the money now, will he let us go?"

º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny

sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him

three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up

in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"

º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their

favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed

four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to

represent.

The Flight to Egypt, was his reply.

Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph,

and Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"

"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.

º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you

say prayers before eating?"

"No sir," little Johnny replies,

"I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."

º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?

Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First

Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year

old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet.

About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you

don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have

to start his sermon all over again!'

It worked."

º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,, o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?

This is the best one. A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's

lap as he read her a bedtime story.

From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up

to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek,

then his again.

Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, God's getting better

at it, isn't he?"

Link to post
Share on other sites

:D:D:D Copy, paste and email, especially to my preacher friend, he will especially love this one!!

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.

"How do you know what to say?" he asked.

"Why, God tells me."

"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

Thanks, Barb!

Liz

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...