Engrish

[martymas]

American Immigration Test

this is from bill mallenson

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've talked to this guy ...

Mujibar was trying to get into America legally through Immigration.

The Immigration Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot enter America." Mujibar said, "I am ready."

The officer said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Officer, I am ready."

The Officer said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"

Mujibar now lives in a neighborhood near you, and works at Dell on the Help Desk.

[bar5]

[bozodog]

Now that is just too funny! Hahahahhaha!

[handplane]

Just sent this to my sister-in-law, who has a new Dell.

[martymas]

Now that is just too funny! Hahahahhaha!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i found a lot of jokes and humor sites in internet news

thousands of them

ive been a member of internet news for some years now.

my isp emailed me and asked if i would like to subscribe to them

so i tried it and i wouldnt give it up now.

it is so unlimited

the catorgorys

i have downloanded 57.000 of them

and the subject matter numbers hundreds

in one subject .

so you can imagine how many subjects there are

boggles the mind .

marty

[blim]

Ahhhh, we know your secret now. Marty is the "jokemaster". Sure glad you have that subscription (57,000?!? Marty, Marty, Marty....) I've enjoyed all your posts!

Thank you for sharing the good ones!

Liz

[rv56]

Good one Marty....

Keep them coming....

[martymas]

i must confess i ahve trouble posting the pics and images

the text is just copy and paste

i transfer them to notepad and copy and paste them to the board

but those pics and images

i tried posting them from infranview

but no go

any one got any ideas

i can find plenty of images and pics there

but to get them to the board is another matter.

marty

[blim]

Can't you post them as a link, Marty? I know folks here also use ImageShack and PhotoBucket, but I don't know how they work. Son is going to teach me when he has time.

Liz

[bozodog]

Marty you need to join an on-line host for the pics. Like photobucket It's free, you up-load your pics and even flash there and link it here. Very easy. That's what the IMG code button is for. Or PhotoBucket does it for you already coded. Just remember, if you take the image out of your host it dissapears here.

[martymas]

Marty you need to join an on-line host for the pics. Like  photobucket It's free, you up-load your pics and even flash there and link it here. Very easy.  That's what the IMG code button is for. Or PhotoBucket does it for you already coded. Just remember, if you take the image out of your host it dissapears here.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

thanks bozodog

i have an image appli on my compt tho it isnt Photobucket

but ile try that

thanks again

marty

[tg1911]

After you log in to Photobucket, there should be a screen that says "Add Pictures".

Click the "Browse" button.

Then navigate to the picture on your harddrive, that you want to add, click it, then click "Open".

Then click the "Submit" button.

Your picture will begin uploading to Photobucket.

When it's through, your picture will be displayed on the page, with different ways to display it (Url, Tag, Img) on different sites.

If you want to submit more than one picture at a time, use the "Submit Multiple Pictures" box.

Click the arrow, and chose anywhere from 1-19.

Then, as I explained above, browse to each picture and click it, then click "Open".

Once you've selected all you want, Click "Submit"

Just pick the one you want to use, right click it, and select "copy",

Select where you want to put it, right click, and select "paste".

Url - Use this to post a clickable link to your picture.

Tag - Use this to put an image in a web page, if you have one.

Img - This will put the actual picture into your post.

I hope this helps some.

If you have any questions, just ask.

[martymas]

do you use an appli called.

imgholderv2.i have it installed but havent explored it yet

i had problems with photobucket.

some time ago it wouldnt let me install

i went in to see if i had it blocked.

so im not sure what went wrong

however im off to try again

thanks

some how i seem to remember handplane

said you would be the personb to ask.

for some days now ive tried to send images to the board.

i tried infranview.

but couldnt find the option.

i was able to get my avatar with infranview.

here and at g4

but transferring these images

has me working

thanks for the info

marty

[tg1911]

Your avatar is taken directly off of your harddrive, but to put any other image on these forums, you have to host them, with an image hosting site.

Which means you have to upload them to the host site.

There are several hosting sites available, Photobucket, ImageShack, and one I found for handplane, that I believe is called, ImgHolder.

The one I use most often is Photobucket.

You don't have to install anything, to use it, but you have to sign up for an account (free), to be able to keep track of, and manage your images.

The file types that you can upload to it are, jpg, gif, png, bmp, swf.

They are limited to 250 KB, and anything larger is automatically resized.

ImageShack also requires you to register (free), if you want to be able to keep track of the images you've uploaded, and manage them.

The file types that you can upload to it are, .jpg, .jpeg, .gif, .bmp, .tif, .swf, and .png.

bmp, tif, and tiff images will be converted to .png automatically.

Images are limited to 1 MB in size, and anything larger will be resized.

You also have the option of clickable thumbnails.

To get the particulars of ImgHolder, send a PM to handplane.

I believe he's used it, and would know more about it.

Another one I found is ImageRage.

It allows files up to 5MB in size.

File types allowed are: JPG, GIF, BMP, SWF, PNG, PDF (Adobe Acrobat)

I haven't used it, but it might be something you want to check out.