bar5 Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 RETARDED GRANDPARENTS(this was actually reported by a teacher)After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent theirholiday away from school. One child wrote the following:We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. Theyused to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and theymoved to Florida. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks paintedgreen to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wearname tags because they don't know who they are anymore.They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have gotit fixed because it is all okay now, and do exercises there, but theydon't do them very well.There is a swimming pool too, but in it, they all jump up and downwith hats on.At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it.He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out.They go cruising in their golf carts!Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thingevery night --- early birds.Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. Theones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked centre for pot luck.My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn hisretardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded somedaytoo. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the dollhouse. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren...............PRICELESS! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
irregularjoe Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 RETARDED GRANDPARENTS(this was actually reported by a teacher)After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent theirholiday away from school. One child wrote the following:We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. Theyused to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and theymoved to Florida. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks paintedgreen to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wearname tags because they don't know who they are anymore.They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have gotit fixed because it is all okay now, and do exercises there, but theydon't do them very well.There is a swimming pool too, but in it, they all jump up and downwith hats on.At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it.He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out.They go cruising in their golf carts!Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thingevery night --- early birds.Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. Theones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked centre for pot luck.My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn hisretardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded somedaytoo. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the dollhouse. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren...............PRICELESS! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 :D Gotta get my "retarded parents who live in a tin can in Florida and go to the wrecked center" over here to read this! (my printer went to college with the kids--they're back, but the printer is still in a box)Thanks, Barb!Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martymas Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 ha ha ha that was a gem ive sent it on to my family i loved it hey ime a grandfathermarty Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chappy Posted May 29, 2007 Report Share Posted May 29, 2007 You young "whipper-snappers" always makin fun of us older folk....why I outta...Some day...just you wait...you'll be drinking prune juice and soaking your teeth in a jar beside your bed soon enough! Then you'll "Rue the Day" you voted for that "Drivers License reexamination after 70" law you voted in when you were 30, I tell ya..Inconsiderate kids these days.Why...when I was your age I used to.......(insert incoherant ramblings here) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
irregularjoe Posted May 29, 2007 Report Share Posted May 29, 2007 (edited) "Why...when I was your age I used to.......(insert incoherant ramblings here) "............Walk 20 miles in five feet of snow to milk the cow at 3 in the morning and then deliver the milk to 50 customers spread out over 100 miles all before breakfast.Then I would get back home and grind some flour from the grain that I harvested last year, churn some butter and make pancakes on a wood stove that I stoked with a few logs that I culled from the two thousand acres of hardwood that I cut down and split by hand with a dull axe.While the stove was heating up I would hook up the dog sled and find my way to the maple tree area (that I planted by hand years ago) and harvest some of the maple syrup to put on the pancakes. On the way back I would stop by the chicken coop and gather the freshly layed eggs. If time permitted, if the sun wasn't yet up, I would also slaughter and package a nice roaster sized hen to make for dinner that night.After breakfast I would ride my bike with a flat tire 35 miles to work in the coal mines for 12 cents an hour. If I was lucky I would only work a 14 hour shift with a two minute lunch break. Edited May 29, 2007 by irregularjoe Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chappy Posted May 30, 2007 Report Share Posted May 30, 2007 Yah...That's it Joe!!I just fergot what it was I used to do for a moment there...you know how that dang Alzhiemers is eh.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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