Tequila Christmas Cake


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i'm terrible with recipes and worse with jokes...This seemed fitting...

Tequila Christmas Cake

>

> 1 cup of water

> 1 tsp baking soda

> 1 cup of sugar

> 1 tsp salt

> 1 cup of brown sugar

> Lemon juice

> 4 large eggs

> Nuts

> 1 bottle tequila

> 2 cups of dried fruit

>

Sample the tequila to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the tequila again.

To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the tequila is still OK.

Try another cup... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.

Check the tequila.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

No wait..shtrain the lemon juice and shift your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.

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Sounds like a restaurant where I worked in way back in the early 70's... :P

Speaking of cats and recipes-

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CAT LITTER CAKE RECIPE

WANT TO HAVE FUN AT YOUR NEXT PARTY OR POTLUCK?

SET THIS CAKE ON THE TABLE AND WATCH YOUR FRIENDS FACES !!

*NOTE: THIS CAKE IS COMPLETELY EDIBLE!!***

CAKE INGREDIENTS:

1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix

1 box of white cake mix

1 package white sandwich cookies

1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix

A few drops green food coloring

12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent

SERVING "DISHES AND UTENSILS"

1 NEW cat-litter box

1 NEW cat-litter box liner

1 NEW pooper scooper

Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan.

Prepare pudding and chill.

Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or food processor.

Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of cookie crumbs.

Mix with a fork or shake in a jar. Set mixture aside.

When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl.

Toss with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the mixture moist but not soggy.

Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture.

Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and gently heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shape the blunt ends into slightly curved points.

Repeat with three more rolls. Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture. Sprinkle remaining white cookie crumbs

over the mixture, then scatter green crumbs lightly over top.

Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box.

Heat the remaining Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box. Place box on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper.

Enjoy! :blink:

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Hey kailuakid..

Now that's clever...lol! Wow i really like that...Thanks for sharing that ...i'm so gonna steal it ...The teachers luncheon is this month and i got the luck of the draw,"desserts".Think they'd take offense? Hmmm...They're a pretty twisted bunch.i dunno ...That recipe does sound tastey good...Talk me out of it somebody!

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