Anger Management

[msdos6]

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take

it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on

someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to

make.

I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please peak with Robin Carter?"

Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed

the last two digits of her phone number.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and

hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it

in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had

a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It

always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'

calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,

this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if

you're familiar with our Caller ID

Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed

down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently

waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that

spot. The idiot ignored me.

I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his

number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his

number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole,

too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the

car's

parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my

speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it

used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.

"Hello."

"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang

up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black

Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don.

And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

Then I called Asshole #2. "Hello?" he said.

"Hello, asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right

now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at

1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw

two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars,

a police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works.

[blim]

Brilliant! Thanks, msdos!

Liz

[JDoors]

Wicked ...

[bar5]

What a great idea.....

[Honda_Boy]

oh man, awesome, too bad just about everyone has caller ID

[blim]

Oh, but he covered the caller ID, Hondaboy!

"When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'

calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,

this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if

you're familiar with our Caller ID

Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed

down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" "

Too clever!

Liz