deaf_girl Posted April 11, 2006 Report Share Posted April 11, 2006 Job ApplicationThis is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!NAME: Greg BulmashSEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was ina position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. Ifthat's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.EDUCATION: Yes.LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.SALARY: Less than I'm worth.MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROMLIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doingthat now.DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.SIGN HERE: Aries. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheTerrorist_75 Posted April 11, 2006 Report Share Posted April 11, 2006 There's actually someone that is as warped as I am when it comes to filling out job applications. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted April 12, 2006 Report Share Posted April 12, 2006 Oh, that's good! One job interview I went to, the manager asked me "what job would you like to have?"I grinned and answered, "yours" I got the job! Well, not his job.......Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mychal007 Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 I love this. My daughter sent it to me a couple of years ago. It's still funny to me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
robroy Posted April 18, 2006 Report Share Posted April 18, 2006 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hitest Posted April 19, 2006 Report Share Posted April 19, 2006 LOL The applicant is seriously twisted.................I admire that in a person, very funny stuff!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
msdos6 Posted April 19, 2006 Report Share Posted April 19, 2006 one of the best I've seen... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.