Hey Have A Look At Mens Priveliges

[martymas]

Because I'm A Man...

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** Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with

a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road

service until long after hypothermia has set in.

** Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop

the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If

another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be

able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and

everything, I wouldn't know where to start."We will then drink beer.

** Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me

soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as

sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

** Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will

insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me

twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back

together.

** Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my

hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a

whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by

holding a calculator).

** Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I

don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a

complete stranger. I mean, how the heck could he know where we're

going?

** Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking

about. The answer is always either sex or food, though I have to make

up something else when you ask,so don't.

** Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your

mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her

any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is okay,

I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my

Mom, too!

** Because I'm a man, I am capable of announcing, "One more beer and I

really have to go", and mean it every single time I say it, even when

it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have

to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have

my pals call you to tell you I'll be home soon, and no, I don't

understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. Like,

what's the connection?

** Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.

Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

** Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought

what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of

shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is

fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

** Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the 21st Century, I will

share equally in the housework? You just do the laundry, the cooking,

the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.

[thesidekickcat]

Because I'm a woman, I thought these were all funny if spoken by anyone other than my husband in which case they wouldn't be even remotely funny if he says any of them. HaHaHa!!!

Pat

God bless everyone.