Chuckles You Can Tell In Church


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Chuckles You Can Tell in Church!

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in

white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child

thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

###############

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible

class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me

be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and

tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran, she once again

began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please, don't shove me either!"

###############

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a

few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's

nothing My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The

third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a

sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

###############

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her

handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was

alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.

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A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

He said, "Call for backup."

############### A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with

them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter."

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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After

explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment

that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,

"Thou shall not kill."

###############

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little

Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the

matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

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:D Oh, reminding me of the Children's Sermons during church, the one time where every adult was listening as we never knew what those kids were going to come up with. "Thou shalt not kill" :D Good one, Barb!

Liz

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