New Computer Slang

[Matt]

Got these in an email/ They're ok, not the funniest thing I've ever seen Must be pretty old, some of the "problems" expressed aren't really issues anymore:

Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “I dunno, ask Rick. He’s our alpha geek.â€

Betamaxed - When a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better marketed competition as in “Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the marketâ€

CGI Joe - A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.

Chip Jewelry - Old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decoration. “I paid three grand for that Mac and now it’s nothing but chip jewelry.â€

Chips and Salsa - Chips = hardware, salsa = software. “First we gotta figure out if the problem’s in your chips or your salsa.â€

Cobweb - A WWW site that is never updated.

Crapplet - A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. “I just wasted 30 minutes downloading that crapplet!â€

Dorito Syndrome - The feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. “I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I’ve got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome.â€

Egosurfing - Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one’s own name.

Graybar Land - The place you go while you’re staring at a computer that’s processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). “That CAD rendering put me in graybar land for like an hour.â€

Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on some people’s computer keyboards.

Link Rot - The process by which web page’s links become obsolete as the sites they’re connected to change or die.

Mouse Potato - The online generation’s answer to the couch potato.

Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

Square-Headed Spouse - Computer

Tourists - Those who take training classes just to take a vacation from their jobs. “There were only three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists.â€

Treeware - Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

Under Mouse Arrest - Getting busted for violating an online service’s rule of conduct. “Sorry I couldn’t get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest.â€

Vulcan Nerve Pinch - The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.

World Wide Wait - The real meaning of WWW.

[JSKY]

These are to close to the truth...LOL

[Honda_Boy]

Here's an add-on

Qwerty Face-When you fall asleep on the keyboard.

Old I'm sure if I learned it from my dad.