Something To Offend Just About Everybody


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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.

What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? 100 people who don't do dick.

How did the tugboat get AIDS? It was rear-ended by a ferry.

Define "Egghead:" What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty

How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.

A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW or Corvette? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo."

What's the Cuban National Anthem? "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast? They're hiring.

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

(this also goes for differance between a fairy tale and a trucker story)

My, my, how times have changed. Years ago... When 100 white men chased one black man, we called it the Ku Klux Klan; today they call it the PGA TOUR.

Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

i have many more in storage. maybe i will post more thru the week or next week end, enjoy. B)

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