Makai Posted August 20, 2005 Report Share Posted August 20, 2005 My sis sent me these (hope they haven't been posted before)How do these people survive?>>>ONE: Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could>have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen>nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at thecounter. "You>don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "SoI>can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So>I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets>>TWO: I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the>lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of>those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it betweenour>things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my>items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar codeso she>could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know howmuch>this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that>today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had noclue>to what had just happened.>>THREE: A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive>and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,she>said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a creditcard>number, so she was using the ATM "thingy.">>FOUR: I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do>you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replace dthe>battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you>think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a batteryto fit>this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this>remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I tookthe>key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over>there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.">>FIVE: Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day>she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out oftyping>paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary toldher.>With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put iton>the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.>>SIX: I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was>towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repairand>the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the>manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruisecontrol">and then went in the back to make a sandwich.>>SEVEN: My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office>of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problemswith>their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch>banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my>terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?">>EIGHT: Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal>colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.The>message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copybutton>each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the>"lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.>>NINE: A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs>to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. Thedispatcher>tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mothersays,>I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency>>Life is tough.>>It's tougher if you're stupid!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DarkestDream Posted August 20, 2005 Report Share Posted August 20, 2005 A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if sheneeds>to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. Thedispatcher>tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mothersays,>I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in toemergencythat funny Quote Link to post Share on other sites
inferiormeansme Posted August 20, 2005 Report Share Posted August 20, 2005 i lol'd Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted August 20, 2005 Report Share Posted August 20, 2005 The scary thing is that these folks walk among us..... Copy, paste, email and thanks, Makai!Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
murtu52 Posted August 21, 2005 Report Share Posted August 21, 2005 Life is tough.It's tougher if you're stupid!"<{POST_SNAPBACK}>That is extremely true!!!Thanks Makai, those were some of the funniest jokes i've read in a while, and most of them i've never heard! Thanks alot! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
marko_tomas13 Posted August 21, 2005 Report Share Posted August 21, 2005 LMAO those are some of the greatest i've ever heard.The floppy drive one also happened at a tech support place that I work at, except nobody was around to stop it, so we had to extract the credit cards... what a day. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
robroy Posted August 21, 2005 Report Share Posted August 21, 2005 I can believe that they are true, see some stupid things in the construction field especially when a homeowner decides he can build something. Last week we had someone wanting to build a garage, he got the plans from his brother who had just built one in Florida. The problem is that West Virginia gets snow. The homeowner had a fit when we told him that he had to use 2 x 8 rafters instead of 2 x 4's Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Makai Posted August 21, 2005 Author Report Share Posted August 21, 2005 I'm kind of partial to the guy who put his RV on cruise control and went to make a sandwich. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lamuskrat Posted August 22, 2005 Report Share Posted August 22, 2005 Sad thing is these people are bosses, future/present day politicians, and probably world leaders. HMMMM maybe we should just stay at home where its' safe?! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rv56 Posted August 23, 2005 Report Share Posted August 23, 2005 Those are funny Makai.... Yup...same here... Copy and Send..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.