Senior Humor

[tg1911]

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to

join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up

and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class

was over.

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Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:

"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.

She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

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The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

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Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow

and asked, "How old was your husband?"

"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."

"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.

She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?

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I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees.

Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter

than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject

to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands

and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.

But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

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A 97-year-old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered."

"Sir," replied the doctor, "you're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?"

"You're damned right it is!", replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!"