lamuskrat Posted May 28, 2005 Report Share Posted May 28, 2005 Women's English:Yes = NoNo = YesMaybe = NoI'm sorry = You'll be sorryWe need = I wantIt's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.We need to talk = I need to complain.Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep.I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.The same old thing = NothingNothing = EverythingEverything = My PMS is acting up.Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an a**hole.==========================================================Men's English:"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry."I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy."I'm tired" = I'm tired."Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex withyou."Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex withyou."Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you."May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you."Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you."What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this."What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question."I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?"I love you." = Let's have sex now."I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before."Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me."Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!"I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." = I am gay. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
echobay Posted May 28, 2005 Report Share Posted May 28, 2005 i really need to get a rofl icon Funny stuff lamuskrat Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tg1911 Posted May 28, 2005 Report Share Posted May 28, 2005 Good ones, lamuskrat. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lamuskrat Posted May 28, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2005  i really need to get a rofl icon  Funny stuff lamuskratJust right click tg1911 and " save image as"Thank you...they're not mine but were worth posting Quote Link to post Share on other sites
marko_tomas13 Posted May 28, 2005 Report Share Posted May 28, 2005 these are hilarious Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rv56 Posted May 29, 2005 Report Share Posted May 29, 2005 So true....so true... Good one lamuskrat.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
robroy Posted May 29, 2005 Report Share Posted May 29, 2005 love them Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted May 29, 2005 Report Share Posted May 29, 2005 LOL Wait, you mean men do have thoughts other than, "I'd eventually like to have sex with you"??? I learn something everyday here at BTs Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
robroy Posted May 29, 2005 Report Share Posted May 29, 2005 Yeah sometimes its 'can we have sex right now' Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted May 29, 2005 Report Share Posted May 29, 2005 LOL, LOL, LOL, yep! Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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