Peaches Posted July 9, 2010 Report Share Posted July 9, 2010 MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel . The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAYA married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! This is to the women who have a sense of humour and who can handle it ...... And to the men who will enjoy reading it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Shiny McShine Posted September 27, 2010 Report Share Posted September 27, 2010 Wow can you please not be so sexist. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ferb82 Posted September 27, 2010 Report Share Posted September 27, 2010 (edited) MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel . The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAYA married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! This is to the women who have a sense of humour and who can handle it ...... And to the men who will enjoy reading it.Well, Your comparison is really interesting! Especially about money! LoL. Edited October 1, 2010 by ferb82 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Peaches Posted October 2, 2010 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2010 My understanding is that this forum is for comedy and should be taken as such. It is not sexist in any way & should not be taken as such .. next time it may be a blonde joke or a dog joke or whatever. If Shiney feels offended, then perhaps it is best not to read the jokes after the first sentence or my posts for that matter - you have that choice. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
marsh_0x Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 Hi Peaches, I remain in awe the power of the internet, has nothing to do with the thread tho.4 time poster and next day a 1st timer suggests something to me ?I do have experience on that road.Precious to me the line -> MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.Marsh Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hitest Posted October 31, 2010 Report Share Posted October 31, 2010 Peaches,Thanks for a good laugh! I thoroughly enjoyed that:) That was not sexist at all, but, rang true to me! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Peaches Posted November 2, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2010 Thank you Marsh & Hitest. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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