Oil Changing Instructions.

[Shadow_Thomas]

Oil Changing Instructions:

Women:

1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since

the last oil change.

2. Drink a cup of coffee.

3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly

maintained vehicle.

Men:

1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for

oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and

scented tree.

2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of

taking back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.

3. Open a beer and drink it.

4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7. Place drain pan under engine.

8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9. Give up and use crescent wrench.

10. Unscrew drain plug.

11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in

process.

12. Clean up.

13. Have another beer while oil is draining.

14. Look for oil filter wrench.

15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and

twist it off.

16. Beer.

17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change

tomorrow.

18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.

19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during

step 18.

20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.

21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of

clean oil to gasket first.

23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24. Remember drain plug from step 11.

25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh

oil drains onto floor.

27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.

28. Bang head on floorboard in reaction.

29. Begin cussing fit.

30. Throw wrench.

31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss

December (1992) in the left boob.

32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.

33. Beer.

34. Beer.

35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.

36. Beer.

37. Lower car from jack stands

38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands

39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter)

to fresh oil spilled during step 23.

40. Drive car.

[marko_tomas13]

lmao that is great thx Shadow that gave me a good laugh

[JSKY]

And what's wrong with that. Sounds like a normal oil change for me......(only double the beer intake)

[macmarauder]

LMFAO too true.