Great Home Improvements

[JSKY]

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project:::

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house.

Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room,

or whatever. You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint.

You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit, shorts

with the hole in the crotch, old t-shirt with a stain from who

knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you

realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help

complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the

following...

In your 20's:

Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your

hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check

yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite

cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot

chick while standing in the checkout lane.

You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:

Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.

Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much

else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in

the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne

to cover the smell.

The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to

someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough

to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different

shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne

is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip

to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking

in than flexing.

The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's

age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your

hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want

to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the

mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because

it makes you look fat.

The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming

and you think you still have it but then you remember the hat

you have on is from your buddy's bait shop and it says,

"I Got Worms ".

In your 60's:

Stop what you are

doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose off the dog poop off

your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's.

You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole

in your pants.

The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have

your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:

Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they

have your prescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog

poop on your shoes.

The young thing at the register smiles at you because you

remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's:

Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you

remember that you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart

and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for.

Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name.

and .....The old lady that greeted you at the front door

went to school with you.

[blim]

I'm age appropriate--right in the '40's Discovered when going to the Hardware Store, "middle of work attire" is expected!

Liz

[irregularjoe]

I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying.

Thanks JSKY. I needed that!

Edited August 24, 2007 by irregularjoe

[TheTerrorist_75]

Hmmm. I go as I am. If I get a smile from the checkout girl it's because I still have it or something is hanging out the hole in my shorts.