Traffic Offenses

[martymas]

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the

country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went

through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch

after you wear them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a

worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?

Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write

anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it

will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that

again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or

not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to

ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster

oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed

to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of

yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

The envelope please..................AND THE WINNER IS....

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?

You're right, we don't. Sign here."

[baker7]

hehehehehe - Good One Marty:

I should send this to our new chief in my town - he'd probably laugh pretty hard - also have a friend of mine who is a Vermont State Trooper - these are awesome - thanks for the laugh I NEEDED that

Brian

[martymas]

hi brian

this was posted on the notice board

of the local traffic station

and one of the officers who knew i posted to boards like this

emailed it to me

yes i found it quite amusing

marty