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i found this amusing and true

Asking Questions

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't

prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting

attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the

stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since

you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.

You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about

them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the

brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit

paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed acrossthe

room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a

youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't

build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the

worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three

different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense

attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet

voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me,I'll send you

to the electric chair."

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  • 2 weeks later...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lordy..my sides are hurtin...now I remember why I created the Comedy Club!

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