Best Headlines 2004


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A friend of mine found this on the WEB.

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter

[imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says.

[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

[Not if wiped thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails. Veterinarian Takes Over

[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

[What next will they refuse to pay taxes?]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace

[i can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,It May Last Awhile

[You think?!]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

[Who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain. Police Suspect Homicide.

[they may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?Isn't this usually a basic requirement?]]

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

[He probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

[Weren't they obese enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

[blames the beans and broccoli]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

[Texas Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors

[boy, are they tall!]

And this years winner!

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery. Hundreds Dead

[isn't this usually a basic requirement?]

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