martymas Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEND A M N I T O LTake 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.ST. M O M M A'S W O R TPlant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.E M P T Y N E S T R O G E NSuppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.P E P T O B I M B OLiquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conceptionD U M B E R O LWhen taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.F L I P I T O RIncreases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.M E N I C I L L I NPotent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person . Can we get naked now?BUYAGRAInjectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.J A C K A S S P I R I NRelieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.A N T I-T A L K S I D E N TA spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.N A G A M E N TWhen administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubba Bob Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 Heh, good ones... Except:resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 Wow, lots of new advances since "Aspirin--take two and keep away from children"sending that one on to my female buddies, thanks, MartyLiz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted September 13, 2006 Report Share Posted September 13, 2006 Heh, good ones... Except:resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. That was the best one! (I used to own a pickup -- and have a few country CDs) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bearskin Posted September 14, 2006 Report Share Posted September 14, 2006 D U M B E R O LWhen taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------I have a pick-up and 60 country music cds. my IQ is 124no brag...just fact.have a good day y'all Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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