Preachin' To The Bears

[handplane]

Subject: Preachin' to the bears

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains

to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to

talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to

people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to

preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They

would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and

attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has

various bandages, goes first.

"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when

I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that

bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I

quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother

of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next

week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm

and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and

brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't

sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read

to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do

with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled

down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.

So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you

said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week

in Fellowship, feasting on God's Holy Word, and praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed.

He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in

and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says,

"Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to

start..."

[sultan_emerr]

Oooops! heheheheheehe Good one, handplane.