martymas Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 (edited) AlaBAMA BLESSINGBless this house, oh Lord, we cry.Please keep it cool in mid-July.Bless the walls where termites dine,While ants and roaches march in time.Bless our yard where spiders passFire ant castles in the grass.Bless the garage, a home to pleaseCarpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.Bless the love bugs, two by two,the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,in ALABAMA, Lord, you've put them all!!But this is home, and here we'll stay,So thank you Lord, for insect spray.YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN ALABAMA IN JULY WHEN. . . .The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.The trees are whistling for the dogs.The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.Hot water now comes out of both taps.You can make sun tea instantly.You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.You actually burn your hand opening the car door.You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.The cows are giving evaporated milk. Ah, what a place to call home.-- Edited August 18, 2006 by martymas Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubba Bob Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 Hot water now comes out of both tapsSo true, GOod one Marty Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. Never heard that one ... hafta remember it ... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dBTelos Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 Funnyyyyy Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hitest Posted August 18, 2006 Report Share Posted August 18, 2006 Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from layingboiled eggs.LOL, good stuff, marty!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Steamhead Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.amen to that.*Steamhead lives in Alabama so I can relate to all of this Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Flatiron Posted August 19, 2006 Report Share Posted August 19, 2006 AlaBAMA BLESSINGBut this is home, and here we'll stay,So thank you Lord, for insect spray.Amen!YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN ALABAMA IN JULY WHEN. . . .The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.Hot water now comes out of both taps.You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron!The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.You actually burn your hand opening the car door.You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.All so true in the summer!But I Love it here! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Steamhead Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 ^^ where do you live?? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
robroy Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 Steam, may I reccommend a new optician it tells you right thereJust like your's says Pell City Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 LOL, Robroy....yup that's where Michigan comes in handy. Point to the hand and say "right here".Good one, Marty. Sending that to my Florida relatives. I can't relate to it, but I don't like the weird looking bugs that tailgate in cars that come up here from Florida. Thank goodness they don't survive our winters.One sad thing...my sisters in Florida don't let their toddlers play outside due to fire ants! They tell me fire ants can kill a small child! Poor kids. When they come up here for vacation, those kids are playing outside from sun-up to sundown! No dangerous bugs up here, unless you count mosquitoes.Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martymas Posted August 21, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 (edited) You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.amen to that.*Steamhead lives in Alabama so I can relate to all of this hi flatiron some time ago a guy pmed me at g4he was at techtv c.f.hwith us his address was ozarks missouri his user name was tntgeorgeand here is an extract from his pm i wondered if you new himi replied to his pm several timesinviting him here but havent heard from him sincehere is his pm hey marty, well i'm glad to see at least one of the 'old guys' still around. we used to talk back when cherokee chief, preston, chappy fried dave & all those other guys i can't remember were on the boards. in fact your name was marty something back then wasn't it? well hope you remember. we all got talking on a string one time & i was guy from missouri ozarks, usa. well like i said, good seein' your still around, tanks, tom Edited August 21, 2006 by martymas Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubba Bob Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 ABsolutley Blim. Nastiest damn critters. Don't worry though, the way they've been spreading, they'll be in Michigan before too long Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted August 21, 2006 Report Share Posted August 21, 2006 ... No dangerous bugs up here, unless you count mosquitoes. ... You don't think Black Widow or Brown Recluse spiders are dangerous? (OK, you hardly, if ever, actually SEE them, but they're hardy enough to survive up here!) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Steamhead Posted August 22, 2006 Report Share Posted August 22, 2006 Steam, may I reccommend a new optician it tells you right thereJust like your's says Pell City ....shhhh....I was erm ... testing him ... >.> <.< Quote Link to post Share on other sites
irregularjoe Posted August 22, 2006 Report Share Posted August 22, 2006 Alabama? Small potatoes.You want to REALLY fry in July?Come out to Phoenix. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
snyper Posted August 22, 2006 Report Share Posted August 22, 2006 I got a rosting for alabama jokes before on a different site..im keeping shut..no more shallow gene poole jokes Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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