martymas Posted July 17, 2006 Report Share Posted July 17, 2006 (edited) Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !HIS VIEWHow many men does it take to open a beer?None. It should be opened when she brings it.-------------------------------------------------------------------Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.--------------------------------------------------------------------Why do women have smaller feet than men?It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allowsthem to stand closer to the kitchen sink.-------------------------------------------------------------------How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."-------------------------------------------------------------------How do you fix a woman's watch?You don't. There is a clock on the oven.-------------------------------------------------------------------Why do men fart more than women?Because women can't shut up long enough tobuild up the required pressure.-------------------------------------------------------------------If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.-------------------------------------------------------------------What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?A woman who won't do what she's told.-------------------------------------------------------------------I married a Miss Right.I just didn't know her first name was Always.-------------------------------------------------------------------Scientists have discovered a food that diminishesa woman's sex drive by 90%.It's called a Wedding Cake.-------------------------------------------------------------------Why do men die before their wives?They want to.-------------------------------------------------------------------Women will never be equal to men until they canwalk down the street with a bald head and a beergut, and still think they are sexy.-------------------------------------------------------------------In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.Then God created Man and rested.Then God created Woman.Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.-------------------------------------------------------------------NOW THE HER VIEWFor all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free.Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage,WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just toget a little sausage.Men are like....1. Men are like ... Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.2. Men are like ..Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.3. Men are like .Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.4. Men are like .Blenders .... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.5. Men are like ......Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.6. Men are like ....Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.8. Men are like ........Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.9. Men are like ..... Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.10. Men are like .Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.11. Men are like . Snowstorms . You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.12. Men are like ........Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.13. Men are like .Parking Spots ...... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.Now send this to all the remarkable women you know, as well as to anyunderstanding good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough toknow !!!!!!!!!! Edited July 17, 2006 by martymas Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted July 19, 2006 Report Share Posted July 19, 2006 ...8. Men are like ........Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.9. Men are like ..... Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion....13. Men are like .Parking Spots ...... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped. ... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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