deaf_girl Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 (edited) Things not to say to a cop when you're pulled over...I only had one officer Mr. Keg..Back off Barney, I've got a piece.Want to race to the station, Sparky?I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!Hey, wasn't your daughter a pork queen?How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!Yeah you can see my license and registration, officer, but could you hold my beer for a minute?Hey, you must've been doing' about 125mph (200km/h) to keep up with me! Good job!Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead."Bad Cop! No Donut!"I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are cars around, that's how far I am behind the other cars.You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?"Lets do it different this time... I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow"Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS" last week on TV?Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture next to my girlfriend's bed.I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticketSo, uh, you "on the take", or what?Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little?Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile for the video camcorder.Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?Hey, you look like that girl I slept with a few days ago...Aren't you one of the Village People?Hey officer, want to see a trick? Look at your wife! Edited July 9, 2006 by deaf_girl Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 Good ones, Deafgirl!I used to work at a grocery store and a couple of days after getting a ticket, the cop came through my line. I put up my closed sign It didn't work, of course, but then I tried to charge him $90 for his $10 order (the price of my ticket). He pulled me over a year later, remembered me.......and gave me a warning Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Honda_Boy Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 you might wanna edit the F word before ya get in trouble Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket For some reason, I like that one! I never volunteer anything, but when in the city where I work I always make sure my gaming badge is visible when the cop walks up to my window. The casino pays their salaries and they have, so far, always let me go. Once in another city I had to pull over for one of those fishing expeditions, err, safety checks. The cop saw my badge and said, "Do you work at the casino?" "Yeah," I said, trying to keep from sounding too much like I expected to be let go. "All right, pull over, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!" Whaaaaaaaat?!? My boss was an ex-cop and this guy knew him from when he was still on the force. "Just kidding," he says. Yeah, funny, now I gotta change my darn shorts. He said, "... Go on around ..." and waved me past the dozen or so cars waiting to be checked, so it was cool after all. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deaf_girl Posted July 9, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 I know your're all going to hate for this one but most of the time I act like I don't understand what he is saying, so they give up and just let me go. I say most of the time because one office knew sign language.I like "Bad Cop! No Donut!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted July 9, 2006 Report Share Posted July 9, 2006 LOL, Deafgirl, that's cheating! (I GOTTA learn sign language.... )Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LiXindi Posted July 10, 2006 Report Share Posted July 10, 2006 Hmm, get it where you can.I have been busted before twice by people who "used" work for my Father. Nope, no ticket. I know it is cheating, but like I said, you take what you can get! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted July 10, 2006 Report Share Posted July 10, 2006 ... you take what you can get! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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