martymas Posted June 27, 2006 Report Share Posted June 27, 2006 hi all having been out of touch with the boardim not sure if these have been posted beforemartyPfizer Corp. announced today that V1agra will soon be available inliquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beveragesuitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man toliterally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives newmeaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a goodold-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction bythe name of: Mount and Do------------------------------------------------------------------------The FDA has been looking for a generic name for V1agra. After carefulconsideration by a team of government experts, it recently announcedthat it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Alsoconsidered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, andof course, Ibepokin.---------------------------------------------------------------------Ziploc bags are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see rightthrough them.Copiers are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm themup again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons Arepushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.A tire is male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.A hot air balloon is male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have tolight a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.Sponges are female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.A web page is female, because it's always getting hit on.A subway is male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.An hourglass is female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.A hammer is male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years,but it's handy to have around.A remote control is female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you? Butconsider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and whilehe doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps! trying!======================================================================Two Iranian spies met in a busy restaurant after they had successfullyslipped into the U.S.The first spy starts speaking in Arabic. The second spy shushes himquickly and whispers:"Don't blow our cover. You're in America now. Speak Spanish."----------------------------------------------------------------------------A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines fromKansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out thewindow) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs,and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have babyairplanes?"The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask thestewardess.So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. Thestewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, "Did yourMom tell you to ask me?" The boy said, "yes she did." "Well, then, yougo and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes becauseSouthwest always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that toyou." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted June 27, 2006 Report Share Posted June 27, 2006 Muy Bueno, Muchas Gracias, Marty! Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martymas Posted June 27, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2006 hi lizare you multi linguisti speak two languages englishand my native tonguewhich is called maori [pollynesian]tho there are many dialectsi dont know them alltake caremarty Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted June 27, 2006 Report Share Posted June 27, 2006 Nooooo....I botch up the English language fine enough. I took 3 years of Spanish in school (a hundred years ago) and learned some Italian for when I visited Italy (easy, both languages are so much alike)Had to put on my thinking cap to muster up the response I did Still wondering if I spelled "muy" right Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
handplane Posted June 27, 2006 Report Share Posted June 27, 2006 Nooooo....I botch up the English language fine enough. I took 3 years of Spanish in school (a hundred years ago) and learned some Italian for when I visited Italy (easy, both languages are so much alike)Had to put on my thinking cap to muster up the response I did Still wondering if I spelled "muy" right Liz Quote Link to post Share on other sites
martymas Posted June 27, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2006 hi you two thanks for the langue lessonsi love spanish it is a discriptive language i have a spanish friend who also gestures with his handsas he is speaking marty Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.