martymas Posted June 2, 2006 Report Share Posted June 2, 2006 OnelinersThe extra mile isn't half as long as all those other miles.Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.Life is really like a shower. One wrong turn and you're in hot water.Without my ignorance, your knowledge would be meaninglessToday everyone wants instant gratification, no matter how long it takes.They who are afraid to ask are ashamed of learning.Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take withoutforgetting.*.*Four categories of body fat in Georgia:normal, overweight, obese and deputy sheriff.The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enoughto know your way around, you're not going anywhere.God made man before woman so as to give him timeto think of an answer for her first question.*.*My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me amood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f***ing red mark on his forehead.*.*At our local shopping mall, Army National Guard recruiters hung a largebanner with their telephone number: 1-800-GO-GUARD.I understand that this number has been far more successful than the morehonest one it replaced: 1-800-GO-2-IRAQ.*.*We took the family to one of those restaurants where the wallsare plastered with movie memorabilia.I went off to see the hostess about reserving a table.When I returned, I found my 11-year-old daughterstaring at a poster of Superman,standing in a phone booth. She looked puzzled."She doesn't know who Superman is?" I whispered to my husband."Worse," he replied. "She doesn't know what a phone booth is." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bubba Bob Posted June 2, 2006 Report Share Posted June 2, 2006 Four categories of body fat in Georgia:normal, overweight, obese and deputy sheriff.LOL Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDoors Posted June 2, 2006 Report Share Posted June 2, 2006 (edited) Without my ignorance, your knowledge would be meaningless This one and the trooper one: Hilarious. Lots of other good ones in there too.------ Ooo! I thought of a good use for a modified version of the above phrase, a back-handed compliment (for those times when someone does something annoyingly dumb): "Thank you, without your ignorance, my knowledge would be meaningless." Edited June 5, 2006 by JDoors Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blim Posted June 5, 2006 Report Share Posted June 5, 2006 (edited) "God made man before woman so as to give him timeto think of an answer for her first question."Uh, huh, yep! But question or complaint? And I am stringent about putting my glasses in the same place every single time I take them off!Good ones, Marty, thanksLiz Edited June 5, 2006 by blim Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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