Here Is Some More


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A little boy runs across this farmer who has a

truckload of cow

manure. The boy asks him what he is going to do with

all that cow

poop. The farmer tells the little boy, "I'm taking it

home to put on

my strawberries."

The little boy looks up at the farmer and says, "I

don't know where

you come from, but where I come from we put cream and

sugar on our

strawberries."

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Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and

I'll show you

a man who can't get his pants off.

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There were three little babies sitting next to each

other in shopping

carts in the grocery store.

The first little baby said, "Ugh, the worst thing in

the world -- my

mom just bought pabulum!"

The second baby said, "Well, this is worse -- my mom

just bought

strained peas!"

The third baby said, "You think that's bad. How would

you like to

share a breast with a guy that smokes cigars!"

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Actual Bumper Stickers

* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?

* He who laughs last thinks slowest.

* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

* Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

* Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.

* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off

NOW..

* Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited

inventory.

* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they

appear.

* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

* Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing

home.

* Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

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